The Shadow of the Past
by Caught Ink Handed
Summary: Jane and Lisbon fight. Lisbon has reached her breaking point and Jane is generally oblivious. Maybe a few old friends can help Jane see sense? Or will our dynamic duo be destroyed?
1. Chapter 1

**The Shadow of the Past**

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Anything you recognize does not belong to me. **

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_"It's time to move on Jane, you can't keep living in the past!" Lisbon's voice was escalating to yelling levels. Her eyes were flashing with fury as she leaned over her desk, paperwork forgotten. _

_"I'm not living in the past!" _

_"You are obsessed with Red John! That is all you care about," Jane moved away from Lisbon, moving closer to the couch. "You need to live your life." _

_"I am living my life. Do you have any idea what I have been through?" Jane paused, drawing a deep breath before continuing, anger flaring wildly within him, "No, you don't. I lost my only love and child. You have no idea what I'm going through." _

_All the life seemed to drain out of Lisbon's body, her small frame slumped down, and her eyes lost all their fight. _

_She grabbed her jacket and her bag before disappearing out of the office. The darkness of the empty building swallowed her. _

_Jane's eyes followed her, anger still coursing through his veins. For 5 minutes, Jane stood, frozen, in the same spot as before, seething at the nerve of Lisbon's words. _

_He began making his way to the attic on autopilot. Lying down on the small cot, he crossed his fingers over his chest and waited for sleep to take him. _

His eyes intently studied the planks of the ceiling. The words of his argument with Lisbon were on constant replay. Jane was unsure if he was asleep or in a dazed state of thought.

"Hello Patrick." A voice he had not heard in 10 years rang out through the attic.

The blonde man turned to his side quickly and found him gazing upon his wife, "Angela?"

"Yes, Patrick. It's me."

"Wh-wh-what are you doing here?" Jane stammered, staring at her form, which looked so solid, so real.

The rosy lips that filled his dreams turned up in a small smile. "I'm here to help you."

"I don't need help," he stated.

"Well, then why are you yelling at the one person who has stayed by your side through all of this craziness, hm?"

"Because she doesn't understand what I'm going through!" Jane demanded, shifting from lying to sitting up. "She hasn't lost the people she loved."

Angela fixed him with a condescending smile. "Obviously your mind is weakening with age."

"What! No, it's not." Jane shot a small glare at Angela.

"Are you sure Teresa Lisbon hasn't lost as much as you?" Jane nodded, but his brow was furrowed with doubt. "Fine, let's see." Angela waved a hand much like a magician would and the dreary background of the attic shimmered and changed to that of a graveyard.

A bright sun illuminated the blue sky, but Jane could feel the cold, brisk air that seemed only to exist in the Midwest. A wooden casket was being lowered into a grave. A small family consisting of an older man, three boys and a young girl watched as the box was covered with dirt. A priest was saying a prayer, but Jane was not listening.

"Is that Lisbon?" Jane asked, pointing to the girl fingering a gold chain around her neck. She looked to be about 12, but her gaze looked to be that of a much older person.

"Yes, at her mother's funeral."

A look of realization crossed Jane's face and Angela shot him a slightly smug grin that she had often used in life. "I forgot."

"Yeah, you did."

Jane's gaze remained on the family as one of the younger boy's began crying and the young Lisbon wrapped her arms around her brother. The other two boys held stiff upper lips and their father held his arms around their shoulders, silent tears tracking down his face.

"Are we done then? Can I go back?" Jane wanted nothing more then to wake up and go see Lisbon.

"No, we aren't done. There's more." Angela waved her hand again and the scene before them disappeared.

"Mark, can you take your brothers upstairs and play a game with them?" A slightly older Teresa asked a boy who shared her green eyes and dark hair, but not her small stature.

"But I don't wanna play with the little kids," Mark whined. The sound of a car on gravel echoed in the silent house.

"I'll take you to a movie if you do," Teresa pleaded, her eyes wide with fear.

"Okay!" Mark's face split into a smile.

"Why don't you play in the attic? It'll be more fun that way!" Teresa suggested. Her body was tense, contrasting her kind smile greatly.

"Yeah!" The 11 year-old ran towards the stairs, yelling, "Tommy! James!" The thump of their feet dulled as they ran up to the attic, far away from their older sister.

The door creaked open and there were a few muttered curses as a foot collided with some unknown object.

The younger version of Lisbon was trembling with fear, something Jane never thought in a million years he would see.

A large man appeared in the doorway, he reeked of alcohol and a bottle was clutched loosely in his hand.

"Is that her father?" Jane whisper, afraid they would be able to hear him.

Angela nodded silently and pointed towards the scene in front of them.

Teresa was quietly putting away dishes as her father stormed in. Mr. Lisbon yanked open the fridge door and was searching through the shelves, his face illuminated by the white light.

Although her body was nearly shaking with fear, she continued putting away the dishes. Her father's face contorted with anger.

"Reesa," his voice was heavy with the affects of the beer in his hand, "where's the beer?"

"I don't know, Daddy. Maybe you drank it all," she suggested meekly. The shift in the room was palpable. Immediately Jane could sense Lisbon's mistake.

Mr. Lisbon clenched his hands into fists. "You hid it, din't you, ya little brat."

"No. I wouldn't do that," She said definitely.

"You little bitch," Rick Lisbon's hand shot out and grabbed his daughter's small arm.

Jane moved to step forward, but was restrained by Angela's light hand, "You can't do anything for her. It's in the past."

Jane pulled his gaze away from his beautiful wife to the younger version of his partner.

"Now, tell me. Where is it?" Lisbon's father growled as he held her close to his face. Lisbon flinched as his putrid breath hit her airways.

"I didn't d-do anything to it," Her voice shook slightly, but her eyes stayed firmly locked on her father's.

"Don't lie to me!" He roared as one of his fist came flying through the air and made an impact on the girl's skinny shoulder.

She made noise of pain, only a small, "Oomf," as the air left her.

Jane turned his head away, cringing at the sounds. Angela rubbed her hand up and down his back, similar to a mother calming a small child. He turned back only to see Teresa thrown to the ground with a hard slap to her face. She curled up in a small ball, waiting for more, but nothing more came.

Rick Lisbon had stumbled to the couch and passed out, his beer bottle clattering to the ground in a small puddle.

Lisbon stood up, brushed her self off, and then walked over to the sleeping form of her father. She proceeded to lay a thin blanket over him, clean up the beer and light a scented candle to cover up the potent scent of beer. "Good night daddy."

Jane looked at the younger girl as she made four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and disappeared up the stairs, presumably to her brothers.

"Still think she didn't go through as much?" Angela asked.

"No. I made a mistake. Can we go back? "

"No, there's more." Angela waved her hand solemnly and the scenery changed yet again.

Lisbon appeared to be around 14, or 15 now. She was changing out of a supermarket uniform and into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that read Illinois State Track and Field.

"Hmm… I forgot she ran track in high school. I'm assuming State is good, right?" Jane mused.

"State is very good." Angela said, her eyebrows rose in amusement.

Young Lisbon was counting a pile of money and checking a sheet of paper. A wide grin spread on her face. She threw the money into an envelope and sped out of her bedroom and into a bedroom right across the hall. "Mark! Guess what?"

Her oldest brother was seated on his bed, methodically taping a hockey stick, "I can go?" His face light up with excitement and joy at her nod.

"Yes! I got enough money." She all but disappeared as her brother engulfed her in a hug. "Are your skates in good shape?"

"Uh-huh, Sammy sharpened them for me. I'm so, I mean, you know…" the young boy stammered over his words, "Thank you so much, Reese. I love you so much. Did you know there are going to be scouts there? For some of the junior teams and schools!" Teresa grinned at her brother's excitement.

"Just play your best, and you'll do fine." She said reassuringly.

"Wait, what are they talking about?" Jane's face was portraying an emotion not often found on his face, confusion.

"Hockey. Lisbon's brother Mark plays hockey and is going to a tournament that's very important. Your Lisbon had to work two shifts at the market and babysit, all while basically raising three boys."

Mark Lisbon's voice cut through the shade's ramblings, "So there is enough, right? And we'll be fine?" Lisbon smiled kindly.

"Yes, it'll all be fine. You just worry about your hockey." She stood up to leave and was almost out of the door when her brother glanced up from the money, a look of worry crossing his joyful face,

"What about dad?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll be fine with it," She gave a slight wave of her hand, dismissing her brother's worries.

The scene changed and they were watching Lisbon curled up in a chair, reading a book.

"This is the week of the hockey tournament," Angela supplied helpfully.

Lisbon turned through a few pages when the phone rang shrilly. Lisbon, her eyes filled with curiosity, grabbed the phone and pulled it to her ear; "Hello?" a small smile graced her features, "Mark! How is the tournament? Wait what?" A thundering of footsteps pounded down the stairs. James and who Jane assumed was Tommy came sliding into view.

"Reese! Is it Mark?" Tommy asked eagerly.

Teresa covered the mouthpiece with a hand and said, "Yeah. I'll put it on speaker." She pressed a button and lay the phone on the small table, "Mark, you're on speaker, Tommy and James are here."

"Hey guys!" A voice dripping with excitement rang through the phone.

"Hey Mark!" The two boys chorused back.

"Okay, you guys will never guess what happened today?"

"What?" Tommy, the youngest, asked loudly, insuring his brother would hear. "What

happened, Mark? Did you guys win the tourney?"

"We're in the semifinals, so not yet,"

"Is that what you wanted to tell us?" Teresa fiddled absentmindedly with the cover of her book, her eyes locked on the phone.

"Noooooo," Mark drawled.

"Just tell us," James whined.

"Patience young padawan."

"Marco," Teresa warned.

Even from miles away, Mark knew his sister's warning tone, knowing it would do best to listen, "Fine, fine. I'm going. You guys will never believe this. I got an offer."

"Wha?" Tommy tilted his head to the side in confusion. He glanced between the phone and his two older siblings.

His older sister shot him a warning look and he quickly silenced.

"I got an offer!" Mark's voice was increasingly louder; "I got an offer for a full ride!"

Over the squeals and high-fives of the two boys, Teresa asked, "Where?"

"Shattuck- St. Mary's, in Minnesota. That program feeds directly into the national program. They offered a full scholarship plus clothes, equipment, room and board, the whole shebang," the awe in his voice was so powerful, Jane felt truly excited for the boy.

"Oh my god," there were two quiet gasps from James and Tommy at their sister's language, "Mark, that's… wow… that's amazing. I can't believe it! Mark, did you accept?"

Jane could almost feel the tension through the phone as Mark stumbled out, "Uh… well… I did accept, but they said they need to talk to my parents before I can accept the offer. Reese, can I talk to you alone?"

"'Course, Tom, James, why don't you two go get something to eat? I think there's some ice cream in the fridge," The two boys' eyes light up with joy.

"Ice cream, before dinner?" Tommy said, his jaw hanging open.

"Yes, Tommy-boy, now shoo," she waved a hand and her brothers scurried away to the kitchen. Teresa picked up the phone and cradled it in her shoulder.

"Ang, will we be able to hear?" Jane turned to her; his blue eyes alit with wonder.

She gave an elegant flick of her wrist, something he knew Lisbon would never do, and they could hear Mark's voice just as clearly as the rest. Jane's mind stumbled over the last thought he had, since when had he compared his wife to Lisbon?

"Reese, do you think Dad'll let me go?" Mark Lisbon sounded terrified at what his sister's response would be.

"Yeah, I'm sure he would be so proud of you." Her eyes were beginning to water at the thought of convincing their drunken father of the situation.

"Are you sure? I mean with all the you know…" Mark trailed off, unsure of how to put their father's actions into words.

"Mark, I'll deal with it. When does the school want to come talk to us?" Jane was struck by similarities of the young Lisbon and the one he knew. Always trying to protect everyone around her, and trying to make their lives better, especially his.

"Um… they said in about a week. That way if I accept I will be ready to go to school for this coming year,"

"What day?" Jane could already see the cogs whirring in the young girl's mind; he had seen it many times before in the future version.

"June… errr… 20th," the boy stuttered.

Teresa squeezed her eyes shut in worry, and a micro expression of pain flashed across her face.

"What's wrong with her?" Jane asked, almost insensitively.

"June 20th was her mother's birthday," Angela said quietly, her eyes still fixed on the scene in front of them.

Jane's lips formed a small O as he realized the implications of this.

"Okay," Teresa began chewing her lip nervously, "bye, Marco. Love you so much." Her last words came out like a whisper or a prayer.

"Love you too, Reese. I'll be home soon." The line went dead and she returned the phone.

Angela waved her hand to the side and they were watching a family dinner. Mark was not there, so Jane assumed he must have been at his tournament still.

Rick Lisbon was picking dully at his food, a sense of weariness held over him. This oddly surprised Jane, as the older Teresa often looked similar to what her father was doing.

The two boys were engulfing their food at an alarming rate and both cleaned their plates in next to no time. They both stood simultaneously and cleared their plates with minimal clanking.

Lisbon was pushing her pasta around in a bored manner, but her eyes were darting back and forth in fear and nerves.

Jane could smell no alcohol in the near vicinity so he assumed that Rick was sober for the time being.

"How's school going?" His voice was low and gruff, but still friendly, something that surprised Jane after the last time he'd seen him.

Teresa's eyes widen momentarily before she said quietly, "It's fine."

"That's good," the silence between them was long and awkward.

"Uh, Dad, you know how Mark's at a hockey tournament?" Rick nodded, raising his fork to his mouth, "Well, he got accepted into Shattuck," she halted, her voice faltering at this crucial moment, "With a full scholarship and a spot on their hockey team."

Rick's voice alit with something Jane hadn't seen before in the man, pride and happiness. "Shattuck? As in Shattuck St. Mary's?" The disbelief was scrawled across the man's face, "My boy got into Shattuck?!"

He moved to give her a hug and Teresa flinched slightly, but relaxed once his arms were around her.

"Yes, Daddy, Marco got into Shattuck! Can you believe it?" Her voice was muffled by her father's shoulder, but Jane could see her eyes and they were glowing with happiness.

"It's amazing! Do you want to watch a movie, shoulder high? Or are you to old for that?"

Rick pulled away and Teresa nodded furiously, her eyes glinting with tears of happiness. "The Goonies?"

"'Course, Reese." The father- daughter duo walked over to their couch and Teresa stuck a tape in an old VHS.

"Wow, I forgot about those," Angela said, a soft smirk on her lips.

Angela slid her hand through the air, pushing the scene forward at a fast rate. They were soon watching Teresa, fast asleep, curled on her father's shoulder. The ending credits were making their way across the screen.

Rick Lisbon slipped his hands under his daughter's shoulders and knees and lifted her up bridal style.

Jane and Angela slid along with the father and daughter as they made their way upstairs into Teresa's room. Rick tucked his only daughter in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm sorry, shoulder high. I love you so much, Teresa,"

Angela waved her hand like Obi-Wan Kenobi. They were in a misty room and Jane's eyes darted around, looking for Lisbon.

"Why did you show me that memory?" Jane questioned.

"I wanted to show you how her childhood wasn't all bad, and what sacrifices your partner made for her brothers."

"What ever happened to Mark?" Jane asked quietly, his eyes spinning through the room of mist.

"Oh, he went to Shattuck and played at the Olympic level, then for the National league. He and Teresa don't really talk any more," Angela's soft face fell with a wave of sadness and pity. Jane's eyebrows knitted together momentarily, knowing his partner would hate to hear or see someone pitying her.

"Why?" Jane's unquenchable curiosity got the better of him, he knew Teresa most likely wouldn't want him digging into her past, but his digging nature was stronger.

Angela shot him a doubtful look before sighing, "I will show you, but Patrick, you have to tread carefully. This is someone's past, their history, not a jungle gym." Her hand moved in a familiar sweeping motion and they were looking at the outside of the Lisbon house.

A soft layer of snow littered the ground around the house. A trail of slush led from the road to the house, the print of heavy boot evident.

The sun was starting to droop below the high skylines of Chicago, casting an eerie light on the small house.

"This is two years after. Teresa would be around 17." Angela's voice floated to his ears as Jane's wispy form was pulled towards the house as a dark haired boy dragged a heavy duffle with him.

On closer inspection, the boy was Mark Lisbon, only lankier, bulkier and with trimmed hair. His hair no longer fell precariously into his green eyes.

Mark fumbled a key out of his windbreaker pocket and jammed it into the lock, his fingers locking with the cold. He pushed open the door and threw his duffle in before following it with a yell, "Reese! Tommy! James! Anyone home?"

He was met by a still silence. Mark began warily making his way up the stairs, still calling his siblings' names.

As he reached the hall, muffled sobs echoed through the hall. "Teresa?"

Mark quickened his pace, almost running through the hall until he reached the room at the end. He opened the door loudly, and stuck his head in; "Ree-" His mouth gaped open, unable to finish the sentence.

Jane's eyes flitted from the boy in front of him to the man slumped, hanging from the ceiling, to the girl curled up, sobbing, a note clutched in her hand.

"Teresa!" Mark ignored the hanging man and rushed to his sister's side. He engulfed her in a massive hug, comforting his older sister. Mark, arms now muscular from constant training, scooped up his sister and carried her out of their father's bedroom. "Reese, what happened?"

The two siblings slumped down in Mark's neat, orderly bed, Teresa still shaking against him.

Mark repeated himself, speaking softly, still holding her to him, "Wha- what happened to Dad?"

Teresa squeezed her eyes shut before muttering, "He killed himself. He was just… hanging… when I got there. I came home from dropping the- the- b-b-boys off at the Freeman's for a sleepover," a fresh wave of tears overtook her and her small frame jerked with the sobs.

Jane felt like his heart was breaking. Here was the unbreakable Teresa Lisbon sobbing uncontrollably, something Jane never thought he'd seen in million years. He subconsciously reached for Angela's delicate hand. She gripped his finger tightly in reassurance. A sly grin slipped on to Jane's lips as he thought if the irony. Getting comfort from a dead person.

Mark rubbed his hand over Teresa's small shoulder. "Did he leave a note?"

Teresa's head bobbed slightly against his shoulder, and one of her hands pulled away from her body. "Here,"

Mark's eyes scanned the note, but Jane had to crane his neck to see.

He could just make out:

_…Mark is my pride and joy. I can only hope he goes big. _

_Teresa, all I wanted was for a loving family. But you… _

"But what?" Jane whirled around to stare imploringly at Angela.

"There are some things that you don't need to know. I give you the basic jist. Her father said that she was a disappointment and stuff like that." Angela, still holding his hand, began leading him away from the crying brother and sister.

The ghostly duo floated down the stairs into the main entrance. They glided past a table covered in envelopes. Jane happened to glance down at one. He jerked to a stop, yanking Angela along with him.

He hazily pointed a finger at the envelope, "Lisbon went to Yale?" He began scanning the rest of the table, "Boston? Cal? Lisbon got accepted to all these? I mean I knew she was smart, but this? Wow,"

"Something the brilliant Patrick Jane didn't know?" Angela poked him in the side gently, "But she didn't go to any of these schools. She got accepted in the police academy and just went there instead."

"Why not any of these schools?"

Angela shot him a wry smile, "And who would take care of her brothers? Also tuition," Angela trailed off, allowing Jane's keen mind to fill in the blanks.

"I never knew…. So are we done here? Can I go back and set things straight?"

"Oh no, I still have more to show you and some others do to," Angela said mysteriously.

"So you're ghost of Christmas Past. This is some sort of Christmas Carol thing?"

"I suppose," her smile widened, "but think of it more as… an otherworldly intervention," Jane rolled his eyes slightly at the implications, but said nothing, "Now, we have a few more memories."

Angela raised her hand, but paused as Jane moved forward, "Is this whole hand waving thing really necessary?" whined Jane.

She gave him an extremely familiar glare, the one that normally meant he was doing something stupid and/or irritating. "Yes, Patrick." She bit out, "It is necessary." Her tone left no room for complaint or objection.

Jane spread his hands wide in concession, "Okay, okay. Proceed."

Angela waved her hand and the main entrance of the Lisbon household dissolved into a police precedent. The SFPD logo was emblazoned on one wall.

Jane's eyes quickly sought out the dark hair of Lisbon and found her leaving an office, a man walking next to her.

The older man guided her over to a group of desks where 3 men sat, all working diligently.

"Bosco!" The man barked. And a younger version of the Bosco he knew snapped to attention.

"Yes, sir?"

"This is the newest member on your team," he gestured a hand to Lisbon, who was slightly behind him, "Teresa Lisbon. She's right out of the academy. Placed top in her class."

The corners of Jane's mouth rose slightly at the reddening of Lisbon's cheek. If he had known all you had to do to make her blush was to compliment her, she would've gotten a lot more from him.

Bosco's eyebrows rose at this. His beady eyes studied the woman in front of him, quickly making snap judgments.

"Detective Sam Bosco, senior Detective." He stuck out a hand and loosely shook Lisbon's small one.

"Teresa Lisbon," Lisbon shot a nervous smile towards her new superior before releasing his hand.

"This is Jack Kowalski," a tall, blonde haired man stood up and gave her a small smile. He had a genuinely nice face, but he seemed rather out of place.

"Nice to meet you," Teresa smiled back.

"Ya, same here."

Then the other man stood up and swaggered over, a half assed grin on his face, "Hi, I'm Detective Spencer Gander." He held out a hand that Lisbon accepted readily. A slight flinch passed through Lisbon as Gander shook her hand. But she merely responded with squeezing with equal force. "It's good to meet you, Teresa," his tone was mocking and patronizing all in one, bringing a slight sneer to Lisbon's face.

"It's good to meet you too. And you can just call me Lisbon,"

Jane was so busy throwing daggers with his eyes that he didn't notice Angela's over dramatic hand wave until the scene shifted.

The team, minus Bosco, was all working at their desks. Lisbon was filling out a report, Jane grinned at this. Some things never change. Gander was randomly doodling and Kowalski was reading the sports page from the newspaper.

"Damn, Red Wings lost," Kowalski hissed. His teammates both looked up simultaneously.

"Who'd they lose to?" Lisbon asked.

"Toronto," his face was pinched with anger.

"Well, that's not too bad. Toronto's pretty good this year," she reasoned.

A slimy grin appeared on Gander's face, "Ooohhh, Reese knows her hockey. What? Did Daddy dearest teach you?"

Lisbon shut her eyes momentarily before saying, "How'd Chicago do?"

"Tie. They your team? 'Cause mine's Detroit. Might make some issues," Kowalski teased good-naturedly.

"Bring it," Lisbon jabbed playfully back, "What about Dallas?"

"They won."

A sad expression crossed Lisbon's face briefly, but her smile didn't falter, "That's good."

"Hmmm… there's a Lisbon on the roster here. Mark Lisbon," Gander said, reading over Kowalski's shoulder, "s'hat Reese's brother? How come you never mentioned it?"

"Don't call me Reese," she hissed out, anger seeping into her tone.

"I can do whatever I please," smirked Gander. "Oh look, there's even a small blurb. 'Mark Lisbon, 22, is the young, up and coming star for the Dallas Stars. Originally from Chicago, he attended the Shattuck St. Mary School throughout junior high and high school. He is expected to become one of the leading scorers on the team with his deadly slap shot.' Reesa, your brother looks good,"

"Yeah, he's very good. And I swear to god if you call me Reese or Reesa one more time…"

"You'll what? Go crying to Daddy?" he taunted. Lisbon's jaw locked immediately and her eyes were cold as ice.

"See what she had to go through to get to where she is? And then she just gets stuck with you," Angela's steely eyes met his and Jane ducked his head quickly. Another wave of her hand and they were in the old CBI headquarters.

Jane's eyes darted to what currently was Lisbon's office, only to find the name, Virgil Minelli printed boldly on it. The ghosts rushed into the office where a still young Lisbon was sitting in the chair across from Minelli.

Minelli was dragging his hands through his hair, an exasperated look firmly placed on his face.

"Lisbon, do you have any idea as to what you've done?" he barked, much like he would at Jane.

"Yes, sir," Lisbon gritted through her teeth.

"You shot the DA's cousin, for God's sake!" Minelli threw his arms up in the air.

"Only in the leg," added Lisbon drily.

"My god. Lisbon, what the hell were you thinking?"

A steely expression locked into place before she said quietly, "He was going to kill her,"

"Then you should've waited a bit while longer for backup!"

"No, if I had, we'd be dealing with two murders. I'm not going to stand around and let a father kill his daughter,"

"The man was drunk off his ass, of course he's going to do stupid stuff," Minelli countered.

"That is not an excuse. There was evidence of prior beatings! The girl was covered in bruises. Does that not mean anything?" Lisbon's voice was edging into hysterics, "That girl took her father's abuse for her younger sister and brother. I would guess every day. It's not fair that he gets to abuse his children like that. She was protecting her siblings. He had a knife. 'M not going to let anyone else take that sort of abuse." Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she realized her slip up.

"Teresa?" Minelli's expression had softened noticeably and he moved away from his desk.

She squeezed her eyes shut, "I'm fine,"

"What happened?"

"Nothing," insisted Teresa. She backed away from him and slid down the wall of the office. Her shirt rode up her left hip, revealing a long white line. Minelli strode over to her and sat down next to her.

She buried her face in her hands, a dark curtain of hair shielding her face.

Jane wanted nothing more then to go to her side and comfort her, protect her from the horrors of her past.

"Lis… Teresa, do you want to talk about it?" Minelli asked softly, laying a massive hand on her small arm.

She shook her head violently, still not meeting his eye, and there was a muttered, "No,"

"Teresa… it's okay,"

Head still tucked down, she murmured, "No, it's not."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" coaxed Minelli.

"Nothing happened, my mother died, my dad was a drunk. There's nothing more than that," she declared adamantly.

"Then why were you so upset about this case…?" he urged gently.

Teresa seemed to curl up more in her self, trying to instinctively protect herself. Minelli moved to wrap an arm around her and an immense flinch shuddered through her. He retracted his arm as she turned away from him, shielding her face.

"Teresa, are you okay?" Minelli stood up and moved to squat in front of her. Tears were streaming silently down her face.

"Yes," she choked out, but her head shook no. Minelli pulled her into her arms and just held the crying woman, smoothing her hair out.

Jane slammed his eyes shut, despising to see the strong, independent Lisbon crying her eyes out.

Angela's hand jerked to the side and the scene dissolved.

They were standing in his attic once more, surrounded by the dusty old floorboards and the ancient cot that he had taken to sleeping on.

To say Jane was rattled would be a gross understatement. He was almost shaking at what he just saw his partner go through. Angela ran a delicate hand down his back, brushing away his pain.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Jane asked sadly. Angela confirmed with a solemn nod.

"I have to, my dear." Her half warm fingers brushed his cheek softly, her eyes brimming with tears, "You need to move on. Killing Red John won't bring Charlotte or me back. There are people around you who care about you."

"Ang…"

"Patrick." She responded sternly. "That woman cares more about you than any other living person. You treat her badly and I swear to god I will haunt you for eternity."

"There's going to be another ghost, isn't there?" Jane's face scrunched up in mild distaste, "Let me guess, this one will be the ghost of Present,"

"Yeah, you could call me that,"

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**What do you all think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Please leave a review. **

**Next chapter should be up in the next few days. **

**hoagie**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Shadow of the Past**

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: Yes, of course I own it. That's why I'm writing fanfiction in my parent's unfinished basement. That is definitely why I'm writing. Nah, I don't own anything, except maybe... nope, that's not mine either. **

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"Yeah, you could call me that," Jane spun around and found himself facing a blonde teenaged girl.

"Charlotte…" Jane moaned, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here, daddy dearest, to show you more recent events and their effect on your Lisbon," she swung her legs dramatically and hopped up from the cot.

"What are you talking about?" Jane's brow furrowed in mock confusion.

Mist descended on the pair, then it cleared and revealed the office of Director Bertram?

"What are we doing here?" Jane asked harshly.

Charlotte pulled her father over behind the director's desk and pointed over his shoulder. Jane leaned over the man's shoulder and stared at the papers in front of him.

A strange voice echoed through the room, causing Jane to jump away.

"Chill out, these are Bertram's thoughts," Charlotte scoffed, rolling her eyes at Jane's behavior.

"I need a new department head," The large man's voice said, "There's Geoffrey," he pulled a file towards himself, but wrinkled his nose, "No, he has a baby on the way. He'll be on leave for a while. That won't do. Or perhaps Lisbon," a scowl twisted the man features grotesquely, "No, she can barely deal with Jane. Only last week, he went off and managed to offend a foreign diplomat and a senator," Jane at least had the grace to wince at the mention of his actions, but remained silent. Charlotte glared mercilessly at her father, who tactfully ignored it. "And he was wrong. Obviously she does not have the proper discipline for a department head."

"What!? Lisbon is probably the best agent in the whole agency! She should have that position!" Jane cried out, incensed.

Charlotte wheeled on him, eyebrows raised towards the ceiling. "And whose fault is that?"

"Hmm… I'll need to deal with that," Bertram thought darkly.

The now familiar mist faded over them and Jane found himself in a room with Lisbon and three standard issue government officials. The three drably dressed people sat across from the diminutive woman, files lying between them.

"Agent Lisbon," one of the men began, staring down a long nose at one of the files, "You have had 34 complaints in the last year. Would you care to explain?"

Lisbon inhaled deeply and Jane watched her left hand twitch towards the gold cross adorning her neck. "Yes, I have had 34 complaints. But may I say they were just misunderstanding-"

"Agent, 2 complaints we can understand as misunderstandings. But 34 in the past year is shocking. That is unacceptable."

"But…." Lisbon started meekly.

One of the men shook his head, "No, Agent Lisbon, we do not need excuses. You will have one month without pay. Do not let this happen again or the consequences will be more severe."

Teresa squeezed her eyes shut and nodded solemnly, "Yes, sir. It won't happen again."

"So, Dad, care to explain?" Charlotte asked, surprisingly harshly.

Jane searched his mind for a plausible excuse, and came out somewhat empty handed. "Those weren't exactly my fault."

Charlotte's eyebrows shot towards the ceiling, "Okay, then. I'll bite. Whose were they then? Sweet, innocent Van Pelt? Or was it Rigsby the Gentle Giant? Or even the silent Cho? Oh, I know whose fault they were! It was strictly by the book Teresa Lisbon. The most selfless woman in the world, and she's causing all sorts of problems. Yes, of course that makes all sorts of sense." Charlotte deadpanned coolly.

Jane stared down his daughter sourly. "Charlotte," he warned.

"Father," she responded equally as sourly.

"Fine," Jane was the first to break, "I will admit some of these were my fault."

"Dad…"

"Yes, I did it. But I always say sorry."

"No, you don't. Trust me I know. You are terrible to poor Lisbon, Dad. It needs to change. She cares a lot." Jane stared in awe at this young woman. Last time he had seen her, she was a sweet, young, innocent girl with pigtails and dolls. Now she was chewing him out for his behavior. In all honestly, Jane had always imagined it the other way around; him chewing her out for doing teenaged things. "You don't even understand, do you?" Charlotte broke into his reverie sharply.

The background faded away before reappearing in Lisbon's office. Jane curiously peered out of the large windows. He could see himself, but he was a couple years younger.

"Why is this a few years before the last one?"

Charlotte shrugged half heartedly, "I dunno. I'm new at this," She then pointed an accusatory finger in the direction of his younger counterpart. Jane followed her finger and found the other Jane standing with another woman, a brunette.

He watched as the people from the past made their way to the elevator, the woman's hand clutched to his forearm as she giggled. Jane moved to follow himself, but Charlotte pulled him back to Lisbon's office. "We're not here to watch you with some bimbo."

Jane quickly searched through his memory to place the woman he had left with. "Oh, Shannon Jacobson. Her old assistant killed her assistant. Lovely woman." He did not notice the massive eye roll from his deceased, teenaged daughter.. "She was actually extremely intelligent. But also a little bit… uh… how shall I put this?"

"Easy, quick?"

Jane scrunched up his nose, but nodded nonetheless. "I supposed you could put it that way." Charlotte glanced disapprovingly his way. But Jane tactfully chose to ignore the pointed glare. "So then why are we here?"

"Just watch," sighed Charlotte, motioning towards Lisbon. Her eyes, much like theirs, had followed Jane and his date until they disappeared from sight.

She pulled hands through her hair and puffed out a short breath. On closer inspection, her normally bright green eyes were dull and defeated.

"Damn it." She hissed in frustration, not really cursing anyone, except maybe Jane. "You know what I don't care. I just don't even give a damn anymore."

"I thought this was supposed to be showing me how much she cares… gotta say, I'm not seeing it," he whispered in Charlotte's ear.

"For a mentalist, you really need to brush up on your reading." She responded snarkily.

Jane refocused on Lisbon. His eyes flitted across her, taking in her facial expression, and posture. She seemed to just look defeated. Her face was set in stone as she tried to regain control of her emotions.

Lisbon squeezed her eyes shut and composed herself. Then pushing herself away from her desk, she strolled back into the bull pen where the team was celebrating with pizza.

Once Lisbon crossed the threshold of her door, the scene faded away.

The image restored itself to the outside of Lisbon's house. There was a strange thunk-thunk from the sidewalk, like uneven footsteps. Jane looked to the side to inspect the noise, shocked to find that it was in fact himself.

"Charming, Dad," quipped Charlotte.

Past Jane was stumbling away from a cab, obviously drunk off his ass. His jacket and vest were both hanging open and his hair looked like he had just woken up. Drunken Jane tripped his way up the walk and began pounding on Lisbon's door. Said door was opened by an exhausted looking Lisbon.

"Jane?"

"Tha's my name," he slurred.

Lisbon glared pointedly at him, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my bestest friend in whole wide world."

"Who dragged you through a bush backwards?"

"I was just having a drink, or two, or three," this version of Jane grinned sloppily, flashing his bright white teeth. He stumbled forward to engulf the exhausted woman in a hug. Lisbon flinched away from him instinctively.

Present Jane cringed, now understanding why Lisbon had moved away from his drunken self.

"Why don't you come in? I'll make you some coffee." Jane followed Lisbon in, still grinning like the cat that caught the canary. Jane's feet seemed to be trying to kill him, as did the carpet. His murderous feet found some tiny uneven patch of carpet and pulled him down. Luckily for him though, Lisbon was in front of him. The small woman some how managed to catch him and prevent him from crashing into the ground. "You all right Jane?"

"Mmgghffhh," he mumbled.

"Jane?" She peered at his face and found his eyes completely shut. "Jane!" she yelled in an effort to wake him up. The man did not even stir. Lisbon promptly dragged him to her couch and heaved him as best she could on to it. Lisbon disappeared into her kitchen, returning with a cup of water and a couple of aspirins.

She placed the items on the table beside him and pulled a light blanket from underneath his leg. Lisbon, in a quite motherly move, covered Jane with the blanket before heading back upstairs to go to her own bed.

"Told ya!" Charlotte taunted merrily. "She could've let you sleep on her front step, but instead she let you in."

"Hmm…"

The image of a sleeping, drunken Jane faded away. It gave way to the CBI headquarters. Someone, Van Pelt, had transformed the dreary office into a Christmas explosion. Garland hung from the ceiling, ornaments hanging along side. A small fir tree was in one corner, twinkling merrily. Jane searched for one of his teammates' faces, but the office was empty, except for their fierce leader, still in her office.

Jane glided towards the office, Charlotte floating behind him. He stood directly behind Lisbon, peering over her shoulder to see what the day was. December 23, 2009.

Lisbon had buried her face in her hands, her dark hair creating a useful curtain.

"We had a fight, earlier that week." Jane said randomly out of the blue. "I accused her of pitying me. That I had no family, but she still did. She said I didn't know anything."

"You get it now?" Charlotte asked bitterly.

Jane nodded solemnly. "Yes, yes, I do." Jane floated away form Lisbon and over to her couch. He slumped down in it, just like it was a normal workday.

Lisbon's face appeared out of her hands, and it seemed like keeping her composure was a real struggle.

She dug an old address book out of a drawer and flipped it open to a well-marked page. Quickly punching in a number off the page, Lisbon held the phone to her ear, a pensive expression on her face.

"Hello?" A male voice rang out, as clear as if he had been in the room. Jane smirked slightly at his daughter who returned the gesture with a waggle of her fingers.

"Mark," Lisbon breathed out quietly.

There was a pause on the other end before, "Teresa?" Mark's voice sounded as if he couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to be upset or angry.

"Yeah, it's me. How've you been?"

"Why do you care?" he bit back harshly.

Lisbon squeezed her eyes shut, "You're my brother, Mark. We're family. Of course I care."

Mark laughed, a cruel, harsh, barking one, "Oh, just like you cared about Dad?"

A lone tear dripped down her cheek. "Mark…" she pleaded softly. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"Quite honestly, I don't know. You hated him and he knew that. It drove him crazy. Maybe if I had passed up the scholarship, we wouldn't be in this situation…"

"Mark, don't say that. You made him so proud. He was only ever halfway sober when it came to your hockey. Every other hour of the day, he was drowned in a bottle." Lisbon swallowed the large lump that had been forming in her throat and continued; "You made it bigger than any of us."

"But you know what? Maybe if you had tried harder. You know, not isolate him from Tommy and James, he wouldn't have been driven to the point he was." Mark accused with out any thought for his older sister.

"How can he be saying this things? She scarified everything for him and this is how he repays her?" Jane asked disgusted.

Charlotte turned to him, eyebrows reaching for the ceiling. "Sounds like someone else I know."

"I am nothing like that."

"Let's do a quick recount. So before you came in to the picture, everyone thought Lisbon was going to be in one of the top jobs within 10 years. Then appears you," she jabbed an accusatory finger towards her father, "And suddenly no one looks her direction for promotions. You pull all sorts of stunts and ruin her life. She doesn't complain about it one bit. But you blame everything on her? You might actually be worse to her then Mark,"

"Meh," he said noncommittally. "But I do try and make up with her. From the sound of this, Mark has not."

"Whatever, semantics. The point is: Lisbon has been walked over all her life, and she still puts up with your…" Charlotte searched for a proper word to describe her father's actions, "shenanigans. She deserves better."

As the smoke dissipated the scene, Jane could still here the brunette pleading with her brother.

"What is with all of this smoke?" Jane questioned irritably, squinting his eyes to see through the foggy substance.

Charlotte turned on him and snapped, "It's for dramatic purposes. I'm sure you know all about it. Get over it,"

Jane stared, wide eyed, as his boss/ partner flirted with a dark haired man. It took him a moment to recognize the man. He was a small town sheriff who had taken a liking to Lisbon. Jane had personally thought that the man was a creep, but Lisbon had brushed off his concerns.

A fire burned dully in the pit of Jane's stomach. Even though he knew the outcome of the night, he still didn't like it.

"Might I say, Teresa, that you look exceptionally beautiful tonight," the slimy sheriff said (Jane had not bothered remembering the guy's name).

A faint blush colored her cheeks at the compliment, and Jane felt his insides turning slightly to mush.

"Thank you, Elias,"

"That's his name!" Jane exclaimed, false excitement dripping from his voice. Charlotte gave her best teenager eye roll at her childish father.

"You must have the attention span of a gold fish." She commented off handedly.

They watched the two people at the bar flirt lightly, and sip their respective drinks.

Lisbon held up a finger to her date as she fished out her cell phone. "Lisbon," Jane didn't need Charlotte to use her ghost magic to know what was being said on the other line. "Jane? Why are you calling me?" insert patented Lisbon glare, "Jane, are you drunk? Fine, I'll come pick you up."

"You weren't drunk, were you?" Charlotte accused darkly, elbowing Jane in the side.

He pursed his lips and shrugged, "Meh, details."

"How'd you do it?"

Jane momentarily contemplated whether or not to tell his teenaged, albeit deceased, daughter of his actions. "Took a bottle of scotch, rubbed a bit on my neck and clothes, drank a little. Then all I had to do was stumble around a bit and fall over a few times. Worked like a charm," he added with a little twinkle in his eye. Charlotte shook her head disapprovingly at her father's pride.

He returned his focus to the scene in front of him. Lisbon was hurriedly saying goodbye to Elias, "Uh, yeah, I'm sorry. Jane is, er, having some personal issues."

"Maybe we can reschedule?" Elias asked, looking like a hopeful puppy in Jane's opinion. "You have my number. Good luck with Jane,"

Jane huffed out an irritated breath as the smoke fell again.

As per usual, they were watching one Teresa Lisbon.

"FYI, this is when you were off on your… uh… little vacation." Charlotte clarified as Lisbon and the team sat around a long desk, folders spread between them.

"Boss, what about the uncle?" Van Pelt asked, holding up a thin file, "He has a record of assault."

"Alibied out. He was in lock up for drunk and disorderly conduct all night." Lisbon said with a sigh.

"No one else had motive to kill him." Rigsby added, munching on a sandwich. "The vic didn't have a dollar to his name, no girlfriend, no real job, parents both dead. This guy had nothing."

Everyone looked exhausted and frustrated. Lisbon, ever the leader, stood up from the table, and said, "Guys, go home, get some rest. Let's see what we can get in the morning."

There was the familiar chorus of "yes, boss. Have a good night." From her team and Lisbon retreated into her office.

As soon as the door was shut, Van Pelt walked over to her teammates' desk. "Have either of you heard from Jane?"

Both shook their heads in the negative, "You?" Rigsby asked, packing away his things.

"No. I'm getting really worried about Lisbon though. Haven't you guys noticed?"

"Yeah, she stays later and works harder. And she's more snappish then usual." Cho responded in his normal stoic manner.

"I swear when or if Jane comes back I'm gonna kick his ass." The other two nodded in agreement.

Jane crossed his hands behind the back of his head as he sat in his couch. "I knew they were loyal to Lisbon, but not enough to actually hurt me. Lisbon's a great boss, but I don't think I exactly deserve an ass kicking."

"That's debatable. But she has done amazing things for each and every one on this team. Like Van Pelt, for instance, thinks of Lisbon as her mentor. Before she transferred to CBI, Van Pelt was just another rookie. No one bothered to help her, but at the CBI Lisbon took her under her wing. I'm fairly certain that each and every one of them would take a bullet for her. And I don't think beating you up is that much of a stretch."

Jane pursed his lips and followed the backs of the team as they made their way to the elevator.

"Come, let's check in on your fearless leader." Charlotte yanked her father up from his couch and towards Lisbon's office.

Once inside the office, Jane settled on Lisbon's couch.

He studied his dark haired boss closely, taking in her thinner then usual form, and her hollow eyes. Her head was bent over a form already covered in her neat scrawl. Lisbon continued filling out paperwork for the next 10 or so minutes, not deviating once, even to look at the time. But she gave in to temptation and pulled out her cell phone.

"Jane, it's Lisbon. Please pick up. Talk to me. I want to help you. Where are you? I tried your motel and your house. Come back Jane. I'm sure Wainwright can forgive you. Call me back, Jane." She pleaded softly, despite there being no response on the other end.

She threw the phone down across her desk in frustration.

"I listened to every single one of those, you know," said Jane quietly, his eyes not leaving the woman behind the desk.

Charlotte snorted derisively, "I'm sure that's a great comfort to Lisbon here,"

Lisbon leaned back in her chair, sighing heavily. "I hate you, Jane. I _hate _you. I hope you go to hell. In fact, I'm sure you're going to hell." Her chair pitched her forward with a creak. "God damnit." Jane watched in horror as her eyes welled with tears. He wasn't sure if they were from frustration, sadness, or exhaustion.

"You see why they want to kick your ass?" Charlotte commented drily.

Jane nodded solemnly. "Mmmhhmm." He grunted angrily as the smoke fell. "The smoke thing, completely unnecessary."

"Hush, drama queen." Charlotte quipped sharply, not sparing a glance towards her father.

"Do not take that tone with me, young lady," he ordered, not used to the whole parenting thing.

"Meh,"

"And don't use my word,"

"I'm dead, I can do whatever I want," she said before stalking away.

Jane spun around through the smoke. "Uh, Charlotte?"

"I'm right here, Daddy," she said sweetly, using her patent Jane grin to melt his heart. "Hurry along now," she scolded as if her father was a child.

They floated into one of the interrogation room. Jane was more focused on his baby girl then the occupants at the table. He was in the middle of pondering how wonderful she was when he heard one word, "Lover,"

His blue eyes snapped to the table, even though he already knew what was going to happen next. He watched, his heart aching, as Lisbon questioned Red John's latest disciple. Jane wanted nothing more then to look away from the hurt expression on Lisbon's face, but couldn't.

Charlotte wheeled on him, blonde hair flying out on all sides, "That was the first person who had sex with after Mom? Are you kidding me?" she shrieked, clearly outraged.

Jane cringed slightly, remembering a similar rant from Lisbon, but Lisbon's was more controlled.

"Uh, yes, but it was to get Red John,"

"Red John? Red John? Red John!" Charlotte yelled, "You need to get over him. Finding him won't bring Mom and I back."

Jane opened his mouth to defend himself, but Charlotte tugged on his arm.

Smoke descended on them once more.

"What was the point of that?"

"Patience, old padawan."

Jane pulled a lovely face before saying, "Old? Are you saying I'm old?"

"Yup," Charlotte said cheerfully as the smoke lifted.

They were currently in Lisbon's house. There were rough thuds coming from a back room. Jane, ever curious, searched for the source of the noise. Charlotte trailed behind her father, floating lazily.

"Aha! Found her!" Jane exclaimed, holding a finger in the air.

Lisbon was in a small room, most likely intended as an office, but she had converted it to a small gym. Dressed in workout clothes, she was punching the living daylights out of a bag.

"I," punch, "hate," punch," you," punch, "Jane." Punch, punch, punch. "Damn you," Another series of harsh hits and a flurry of sidekicks. Her arms collapsed to her sides. She lifted her knuckles to her face, wincing as she did so. Lisbon's unprotected knuckles were raw, red and bleeding. "Crap," She ran one finger over her left hand, feeling for any broken bones. She sank against one of the walls, head buried in her hands.

"Teresa," Jane sighed, reaching out towards her, even knowing he can't do anything to help her now. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"And yet it still did."

Lisbon grabbed her cell phone and cradled it between her ear and shoulder, "Hey Maggie, ca-ca-can you come over?"

Jane floated away from Lisbon, feeling generally miserable for himself.

"Everything's always about you, isn't it?" Charlotte mused, almost to herself.

"What? No," Jane cried, turning to face his daughter, "Everything is not about me. How can you say that? I sacrificed everything to find Red John."

"But you don't care who you sacrifice to get there!" Charlotte leaned in close to her father, "There are people out there, in the real world who care about you, love you in fact. And you throw them away like they are nothing!" A long finger came in to harsh contact with Jane's chest, causing him to wince pathetically. "You have become so focused on revege, you've lost sight of why you're chasing him."

Jane's face darkened rapidly, "Never accuse me of not caring. I care too much. If Red John figures out how much I care about Te- people, he will hunt them down and hurt them. I can not let that happen, again."

A woman with light brown hair in a tight braid appeared at the end of the hallway, a medi-bag hanging off one shoulder. She stalked down the hall, passing through Jane on her way to the room Lisbon was in.

Jane gave an involuntary shiver. He felt as if he had been split down the middle. Charlotte patted him on the shoulder, managing to make it patronizing and comforting at the same time. "Eh, you get used to it,"

The ghostly duo made their way back to Lisbon and the mystery woman, who Jane assumed was this mysterious Maggie person.

"Hey, Tess. Geez, what'd you do? Take out a suspect again?" Maggie exclaimed, staring at Lisbon's mauled hands.

Lisbon let out a cold, harsh laugh, "No."

"Okay then, what?" Maggie slid down the wall next to Lisbon. She began pulling supplies out of her bag, eyes still focused on the other woman.

"Beat the crap out of the bag."

"With nothing on your hands?"

Lisbon nodded sheepishly. "I suppose it's a good thing I'm best friends with an ER doctor."

"How convenient for you," Maggie said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. She expertly cleaned and wrapped Lisbon's injured hands. "Care to explain why?"

"Jane,"

"Ah, your consultant?"

"The pain in the ass one? Yeah, that's him."

"I thought you said he left, disappeared."

Lisbon rolled her eyes, "He came back."

"Wow, thank you for the elaborate answers. They are a real help. Also, would you mind explaining to me why you were dead for a day?"

"Jane," she repeated simply, boring a hole in the floor with her eyes.

"Again, not helpful. Elaborate. What did Jane do and why is he back?" Maggie pressed.

Lisbon squeezed her eyes shut, searching for words to describe what Jane had done. "I told you about his obsession with Red John, right?" Maggie nodded quickly, "Well, about 6 months ago, he faked a break down and disappeared to flush out Red John. He met one of Red John's people and slept with them. Then Red John contacted him and requested they meet, but there was a catch, Jane had to bring my dead body. So he came back to town and had this plan that required everyone thinking I was dead and that he stole my body. So he came to the office one day and went in to my office. Right before he fake shot me, he said: 'Good luck, Teresa, love you.' And now I don't know what to think. The jackass."

"Back up, he said he loved you?"

Lisbon nodded, her eyes a little watery. "But he hasn't done or said anything about it. He did spent some quality time with his little Red John girlfriend. I'm just so confused."

"Can't blame ya there, Tess." Maggie wrapped a reassuring arm around the smaller woman's shoulders. "I will kill Jane for you if you like. I can make it look like an accident. Just a couple doses of the good stuff and your problems are solved," teased the other woman, poking Lisbon's arm.

"Nah, I'll deal with him."

Realization dawned across Maggie's face, "You love him don't you?"

Lisbon's head moved fractionally in the positive. "I know it's stupid. He'll never love me back. He's still in love with his wife and anyway, he's too wrapped up with Red John to care. He probably just meant it as a friend. But it's okay." Maggie looked generally appalled at Lisbon's attitude, "And he now has Lorelei, so that should keep him at the CBI for a bit longer. But as soon as we catch Red John, he'll be gone." Lisbon managed to offer Maggie a weak smile.

Jane could almost feel his heart breaking in his chest. "Oh god, what have I done?"

He closed his eyes, nearly in pain. Jane managed to miss the smoky transitions he so hated. When he opened his eyes again, he was back in his attic.

"See you around, Pops."

"Wait, Charlotte! Am I done? Can I go talk to Lisbon now?"

Charlotte smirked one last time and then vanished with out a trace. Jane reached out a hand, trying to grasp air.

"What have I done?"

"That is a great question,"

* * *

**So, what did you guys think? This one was a little bit more challenging for me than the first. That's why it took longer. **

**I had a snow day today, my first ever in all of my 15 years living in Minnesota, and I wrote this. Yes, I spent a wonderful snow day writing, watching The Mentalist, and eating fun dip and oreos. Yes, I have no life. **

**REVIEW RESPONSE:**

_Ace: Thanks for the review. I didn't put that in because I felt like it would be very personal for Lisbon and therefore Angela wouldn't show Jane. I do agree that it would give Jane something to think about. _

_Guest: Thank you for your review. _

**Please leave a review! Quick question: What is your favorite episode of The Mentalist? And why?**

**hoagie**


	3. Chapter 3

**Shadow of the Past**

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, probably never will be. **

* * *

"What have I done?"

"That is a great question,"

Jane found himself standing next to a dark haired girl. Her eyes were strangely familiar, but he could not place them. And her smile, he was sure he had seen it before. But where, was another question.

"Who are you?"

The girl adopted a faux spooky expression, "I am the ghost of the future! I am here to haunt you!" she wiggled her fingers in a witchy manner, smiling broadly the whole time.

"No, what's your name?"

The girl paused and thought about his question for a moment before responding cheerfully, "Kate."

"Okay, we're halfway there. Last name, my dear?" Jane asked irritably.

"Hmm… that's need to know, and you don't." Kate grinned mischievously at the blonde, succeeding in frustrating him further. "All right, let's go then."

"What no smoke and mirrors?" Jane stared at her, still trying to place her face.

"Nah, that's your area of expertise, d- Jane. Now are we going to do this?" Kate waved a hand, in a familiar fashion.

"Have we met?" he squinted down at her in concentration.

Kate's nose scrunched up and she said, "Not yet. Now, seriously, Jane are we going to do this or not?"

"Fine, fine. You aren't dead are you?"

"In a manner of speaking, no. Okay, no more questions. We're going now. First we're going to see what happens if you and M- Lisbon don't make up."

The scene seemed to shimmer before his eyes and faded into the main level of the CBI. The team was working diligently as always. Cho was focused completely on his paperwork. Rigsby and Van Pelt were shooting secretive glances each other's way.

"Are they back together?" Jane mused, more to himself, then to the mysterious girl.

"Yep,"

Jane's eyes swept across the familiar room, taking in the whole scene. Something about the general feeling was off, "Ha! There I am!"

"Great," Kate drawled sarcastically. "I am so happy for you,"

"Where's Lisbon?"

Kate pointed towards the woman in question's office. The shades were pulled tight, and the door was closed. "Come on, d- Jane. Let's go see what damage you've done."

Jane hung his head in shame, knowing that all of the pain that Lisbon must be going through.

Lisbon was seated behind her desk as usual, working diligently. But her eyes, normally bright and lively, were as shaded as her office. Once again, Lisbon was frail, looking as if she was about to break. But there was a sharp set to her jaw.

"What happened to her?"

"You never made up. It broke her. She loved you, you jackass." Kate's eyes were flashing with anger, but Jane was unsure of how and why she cared so much.

Jane, for once in his life, was at a lost for words. This unknown girl seemed to harbor massive amounts of hate for him.

"Uh… yeah… I suppose."

"What happened to the famous mentalist? Cat got your tongue?" she bit out harshly. "So now you see the physical reaction this fight had. Okay, moving on. Let's go see Red John."

Jane raised one eyebrow on her sudden change in emotion. "Do I get him? Please tell me I get him."

"That's where your priorities are? Geez, you really are a piece of work, aren't you? She was right."

"Who was right?"

"Not important." Kate shot back touchily.

"But, please. Tell me, did I get Red John?" He grabbed one of her hands pleadingly. Blue eyes met blue in an imploring gaze.

"See for yourself," Kate nodded towards the scene unfolding in front of them.

Jane stared wide-eyed at the dark, dank room. Three figures were visible in the darkness. Two were standing across from each other, circling like birds of prey. The third person was crumpled on the ground, either dead or incapacitated.

Jane was shocked to see the tangle of dark curls of the person on the ground. "Lisbon?"

Kate nodded stiffly, not bothering to talk to the man.

"Patrick Jane," he would recognize that voice anywhere. Its nasally, gravelly undertones chilled him right to the bone, "I'm so glad you could come to our little party. Sweet Teresa and I were having so much fun, weren't we, my dear?"

The person on the floor he assumed was Lisbon did not move a muscle or say a word. This earned her a pointed kick to the ribs. Even though there was a slight twitch on impact, Lisbon did not make a sound.

"Let her go, John. She isn't involved." Jane pleaded softly, keeping his hand steady, aiming his gun at Red John's chest.

Red John's laugh was harsher than nails across chalkboard. It sounded and felt like you had just been slapped across the face with a cold, long dead fish. Both Janes flinched at the sound. But neither Lisbon nor the puzzling girl reacted.

He was unsure if Lisbon's apparent strength was really stemming from pain.

"Oh, as soon as you joined her team, Ms. Lisbon has been apart of it."

"It's Agent," gritted out Lisbon, ghost Jane and the other Jane, as a force of habit.

"I apologize, _Agent _Lisbon. But Patrick, you made her a piece in our game. It was you who brought her in with your little secrets and plans. And might I add that your little stunt last year was particularly offensive. What do you take me for? A fool?"

The ghosts could hear the faintest whisper of, "Yes," from Lisbon's prone figure.

But the two men facing each other paid her no attention. They still shadowed each other's footsteps, dancers in a dangerous waltz. Red John held a gun and knife with ease and authority. Jane clutched at his own weapon, knuckles white and bony.

With no warning, Red John lunged forward, yanking Lisbon up by her elbow. His knife rested lazily on her collarbone, and his gun was held across her small waist. Red John Held her in such a way that Jane would never be able to make the shot. Cho, maybe Rigsby, and defiantly Lisbon herself would be able to make it. But Jane never used actual weapons, he used his words

Both Janes let out audible gasps. The Jane with a gun took a tentative step towards Red John and his captive.

"Please, let her go."

"I don't think I will. She's rather beautiful, isn't she?" Red John raised one long bony towards Lisbon's jaw and was rewarded with a vicious snap from the woman. "And feisty. Hm, I like that in a woman. Pity you won't be with us much longer. Because you see, our dear Patrick is going to have to choose."

"Stop it. Let Lisbon go," Jane asked, despite knowing his answer.

"Oh, I prefer not to. Maybe I'll just kill both of you and be down with it."

"No," came Lisbon's strangled cry.

"Oh dearie me! You love the unattainable. The tough Agent Teresa Lisbon fell in love with her own consultant." His beady eyes scanned across both of their faces. "Oh! And he didn't know. Ah-ah-ah, Teresa, secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you share with everyone." He taunted cheerily. His putrid breath washed over Lisbon's ear as he leaned in closer, "He'll never love you, and even if he does, you will always be second best to his precious Angela."

Jane, forgetting that no one could see him, reached towards Lisbon, wanting to comfort her.

"Jane," Kate whispered, pulling him away from Red John and Lisbon.

Tears were visible in the green eyes of his partner. But she was not allowing them to escape.

"Patrick, it's your choice. Shall I slit her throat or shoot her? Or you let me leave and I'll release your little girlfriend."

Jane could see the cogs in his own mind working furiously.

"Jane," Lisbon called out weakly. The blonde raised his eyes to her, his eyes, normally filled with mischief, was filled with conflict. "Please,"

"Yes, Patrick, please hurry,"

"I can't," his voice was cracked and small.

Lisbon's face filled with a familiar determination, but neither Jane had any clue as to why. Red John was baiting the indesisive Jane, unaware of Lisbon's movements. In a flash, she yanked the gun from Red John's grip and pressed it to her own abdomen.

"Patrick, stay safe. I love you." _BANG! _ There was a bright flash that accompanied the noise. Two bodies crumpled in an instant.

"Teresa!" Both Janes cried out. Jane rushed to her side. While the other Jane turned away, he looked to Kate for any information.

"She shot herself, to kill your enemy. She knew that you wouldn't be able to make the choice. So she made it for you." Kate replied with the very minimum of emotion.

"She had no right!"

"What? To shoot herself? Or to kill Red John?"

"Both! I don't know! Ugh, why would she do that?"

There was another crash from the doorway. In the doorframe stood Cho and Rigsby, their guns raised. "Boss, Jane! What happened?" Rigsby asked.

"Call an ambulance. It's Lisbon, she's been shot." Jane managed, cradling her head in his hands. "Teresa, please, stay with me."

"…I'm fine…" she breathed out, "why aren't you…smiling…? You got… Red John…" her eyes squeezed shut in pain.

Jane managed a weak smile as he looked down at her, "Open your eyes," somehow Lisbon managed to peel her eyes open. Even then the green of her eyes was foggy, and sleepy.

"Sir, we need to get her in a bus." Before he knew it, a paramedic was yanking Jane away from Lisbon.

"No," He fought visously against the man's arms to get back to his partner.

"We're trying to help her. Sir, please."

And then he was passed to someone else, Cho. "Jane, let's go. We'll get you to the hospital."

The scene changed and the ghosts found themselves in a standard hospital waiting room.

The entire team, and Bertram sat in one corner, all looking miserable. Van Pelt's face was red eyed and splotchy from tears. Rigsby laid a large hand on her knee in an effort to comfort her. Minelli and Bertram were casting furtive glances at each other, neither speaking. Cho, with his usual stoic attitude, stared blankly ahead.

Jane was fidgeting abnormally. His hands were jumping like he was playing the piano, and his knee was jumping to a random beat. He was still in his suit, covered in Lisbon's blood.

"Jane, why don't we go find you some… uh… different clothes and a cup of tea?" Cho offered, as softly as Cho could be. Jane nodded stiffly, still looking blankly ahead.

"Geez, you look like crap," commented Kate, slouched in a plastic chair.

"You really know how to compliment a guy."

"Eh, you can take it."

Jane blinked once and he saw his future self in an odd ensemble of sweat pants and a t-shirt. And he now had a cup of tea.

But he still had that haunted look.

The doors of the ER slid open with hiss and two people came hurrying in. All eyes flicked to the newcomers as they moved towards the CBI group.

Tommy and Annie Lisbon were looking frantically around the waiting room. They stopped in front of the CBI team, unsure of what to say. Tommy managed to find his voice and quietly asked, "Is it true? Was Reese shot?"

Flurries of worried glances were shared among the group. Cho, now in charge, nodded stiffly, "Yes, it's true."

Annie clasped on to her father's arm, paling drastically. "No, no, no. Aunt Reese? No," she murmured quietly. Her eyes fell on the disgruntled looking consultant, "Jane, what happened?"

Jane looked up, his eyes wide and blank. "Red John. Shot herself. Saved me."

"What?" Tommy exclaimed, now glaring down at the blonde. "Repeat yourself."

"Mr. Lisbon, please calm down," Bertram intervened. Tommy whirled on him, seeming to have mastered his older sister's glare of death.

"I wonder if they practiced that as children or if it's inherited…." Kate's broke Jane out of his strange trance with her random musing.

"Hm? Oh, that," Jane's eyes left the little group in front of him, and began to study Kate. He had gone through his memory palace, and came up empty handed. It was like the eyes and the mouth didn't match the hair.

In that split second he looked away, hell broke loose. Tommy swung a massive fist and made satisfying contact with Jane's jaw. Jane crumpled in his chair, not even bothering to fight back. Cho and Rigsby were up in an instant, restraining their boss' brother.

"Tommy, calm it down," Rigsby growled in his ear, his arms still restraining Tommy. Tommy stopped struggling, but his green eyes were still glaring poisonously at the blonde.

"Jane, you alright?" Cho asked gruffly.

Annie sank down in the chair next to Van Pelt, shock scrawled across her face. Van Pelt touched a wary hand to the girl's shoulder. Annie looked up, wide-eyed, at the red head. "Is she gonna be okay?"

"I don't know, honey."

"That looked like it hurt," Kate noted, a smug grin on her lips. Jane's hand instinctively went to his nose, now knowing what was in its future. "But you deserved it." She added sharply.

Jane's brow furrowed, immensely confused by the anger this girl had towards him. "I didn't ask her to shoot herself."

"No, she sacrificed herself for your damn cause. She did it because she knew you would hate her if he got away."

"I wouldn't hate her," protested Jane, but it was weak, unconvincing.

Kate's eyebrows rose in a familiar manner, "Really?" Jane gave feeble shrug, returning his gaze to the future him.

"Jane, please tell me what happened," Tommy implored, looking rather like a kicked puppy.

"Yes, Mr. Jane, I think we would all like to know that," Bertram said, staring down the consultant with no pity in his eyes.

The haggard Jane searched the group, looking for a way out. He slumped in his chair, sensing defeat. His eyes fixed on a spot on the sterile, white floor. "Red John kidnapped Lisbon, I found them. He had a knife and a gun." He gulped down breathes of air greedily in an attempt to calm himself. "Then he was using Lisbon as a shield. He said… he said… that he would let Lisbon go, if I let him go."

"You bastard!" Tommy hissed, jumping to the inevitable conclusion. "You let him shoot her? So you could kill him?" The man was on his feet again, lunging towards Jane. Jane did nothing to protect himself, instead looking more like he wanted Tommy to beat him up again.

"No," Jane continued, "Somehow, she got the gun, and shot through herself to get Red John."

"No, no, no. Reese wouldn't do that." Tommy said, more to himself then anyone else. "This is your fault." He spat before walking off, his phone in hand.

"Where's a doctor? Maybe they know how Lisbon's doing," Van Pelt suggested timidly, trying to break the painful silence that had fallen. She stood up, pushing her long red hair over her shoulder as she made her way to the desk. "Hi, I was wondering if you had any information on Teresa Lisbon?"

The grouchy looking woman glared up at her irritably. "Who?"

"Teresa Lisbon, gunshot wound to the abdomen." Grace elaborated.

"Who are you?"

"Grace Van Pelt."

"Family to her?"

Grace paused, unsure of what to say. She thought of the team as family, but the nurse meant blood relatives. And Tommy was nowhere to be seen. "No, "

"Then I can't give out any information."

"Nope, if you're not family."

Grace sighed; frustrated it had come to this. She yanked her badge off her belt and flashed it in the woman's face. "This is part of an investigation, if you don't give me information this instant, I'll have to arrest you."

The nurse's glare did not fade, instead it grew. "No,"

Van Pelt began pulling out her handcuffs.

"That won't be necessary." A new voice interrupted. Van Pelt spun on her heel to face the newcomer. "Hello, I'm Doctor Maggie Rogers. I was operating on Teresa." She held out a hand to Van Pelt, who accepted it gratefully.

"Agent Grace Van Pelt, I work with her."

"Maggie!" Tommy rushed over, closing his phone as he ran. "Thank god! How's Reese?"

Van Pelt narrowed her eyes, "You two know each other?"

"Yeah!" Tommy said with a slight smile, "Maggie lived down the block from us when we were kids. She and Reese moved out here together." Then his face fell again, "Is she okay?"

"I wouldn't exactly say okay, but she'll make it. She sustained quite a few knife wounds before she was shot. She's sleeping right now."

"Oh thank God!" Tommy sighed, relief washing over him. Jane was feeling a similar feeling as he heard these words. Tommy's phone went off with a shrill tone, "Sorry I have to take this. Mark, c'mon. You can spare a day. She's been shot. Man…" his voice faded as he left the waiting room.

"So she'll make a full recovery?"

Maggie nodded, "The bullet didn't hit any vital organs. I swear Tess has the luck of the Irish, times two." She let out a nervous laugh.

"That's great. Can you tell the rest of our team?"

"Yes, I can." Maggie followed Van Pelt back over to the small group. "Hello, I'm Doctor Maggie Rogers." Jane looked up, still bleeding slightly from his nose, "Okay, so Teresa lost a lot of blood, but the bullet went clean through and somehow missed all vital organs. She's sleeping right now. Also she sustained quite a few knife injuries, and a few cracked ribs, but those should heal with time."

"When can we see her?" Cho asked.

"First her family can see her, and then you guys can go in by twos."

Annie stood up shakily, eyes slightly red from tears. "I don't know where my dad is,"

"I'll send him in when he gets back. Follow me," Maggie led Annie back through the hospital. Kate dragged Jane with her, despite his protests.

"You did this, so you have to see her." She ordered, not even blinking at his fierce fighting.

Lisbon was asleep on a standard hospital bed, surrounded by wires and monitors. A set of colorful bruises dancing up her arms and shallow cuts stood out stark on her pale skin.

"Aunt Reese!" cried Annie, covering her mouth in shock. Maggie ran a soothing hand down Annie's back.

The scene changed again and Jane found himself watching himself stand in front of Lisbon's house, knocking halfheartedly on the door.

Someone from the inside yanked the door roughly open, revealing a tall, dark haired man. His eyes were narrowed and glaring sharply at Jane.

"Hello, is Teresa here?" Jane asked weakly, looking a little worse for wear.

The man scanned Jane's face, looking for a lie. "Why? Who's asking?"

"Mark, it's fine. Let him in." Lisbon called from inside. She appeared on a set of crutches, wincing ever so slightly as she hobbled up. "Hey Jane." She smiled softly at the blonde.

"Wait, I thought she and Mark didn't talk," Jane said, his brow crinkling in confusion.

"I guess that your sister getting shot and almost dying makes up for almost 15 years of hating each other." Kate said with a shrug. "It kinda puts things in perspective."

"Hmmm…." Jane nodded, not exactly understanding the strange relationships of the Lisbons, but not bothering to get a further explanation.

"Reese, I'm gonna get a sandwich. I'll just be a few blocks away if you need anything," The two siblings shared a quick glare before Mark nodded and disappeared out the door.

"Jane, let's go in to the living room. It's kinda hard to… you know, move around," She explained with a slight smirk.

"Oh, yes, of course." Jane nodded quickly, following her to the couch. "How are you feeling?"

Lisbon let out a small snort, "I've been better. But how are you?"

"Good ol' Saint Teresa," the past Jane muttered under his breath. Kate shot him a quick glare, but Jane either did not notice or ignored it.

"I'm doing okay. But I'm not the one who got shot," Jane flashed his trademarked grin at her and it widened as a blush rose in her cheeks.

"I'm just tired of being cooped up in here. How's the team?"

"Grace and Wayne are back together. Turns out, Cho has a steady girlfriend. Bertram's grumpy. Nothing new." Jane lifted his shoulders limply.

"That's great about Grace and Wayne. They deserve to be happy."

"So do you." Jane shifted ever so slightly towards Lisbon. Her eyes grew even bigger when he pressed a hand to her knee.

"Jane…."

"Teresa, I meant what I said that night. When we faked your death…." Lisbon's breath came in short, quick breaths. Their faces were millimeters apart, their breath mingling together. "I meant every word of it." Green eyes met blue and Jane brought his hands to her face. In an instant, their lips met.

Kate turned her head away; her nose crinkled in what could've been disgust and even embarrassment.

When they pulled away, Lisbon's eyes were still closed, but her lips were turned up in a smile. Jane grinned broadly at her when she opened her eyes, "Patrick," she sighed.

"Teresa," began Jane, but her lips pressing into his again silenced him.

"I'm struggling to see the downside here." Commented the other blonde as the scene faded and reappeared.

* * *

**Could I just start by saying that this chapter has been kicking my ass? I have probably written and rewritten this so many times, I can't even count. I sincerely apologize for the severe lateness of this. And this is just part of the ghost of the past chapter. There will be at least two more. **

**I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. **

**Please leave a review if you don't mind! **

**hoagie**


	4. Chapter 4

**Shadow of the Past**

**Chapter 4**

* * *

_"Teresa, I meant what I said that night. When we faked your death…." Lisbon's breath came in short, quick breaths. Their faces were millimeters apart, their breath mingling together. "I meant every word of it." Green eyes met blue and Jane brought his hands to her face. In an instant, their lips met._

_Kate turned her head away; her nose crinkled in what could've been disgust and even embarrassment._

_When they pulled away, Lisbon's eyes were still closed, but her lips were turned up in a smile. Jane grinned broadly at her when she opened her eyes, "Patrick," she sighed._

_"Teresa," began Jane, but her lips pressing into his again silenced him._

_"I'm struggling to see the downside here." Commented the other blonde as the scene faded and reappeared. _

Lisbon and Jane were both standing in Lisbon's small kitchen, Jane chopping up an onion, while Lisbon stirred a pot of pasta. A small TV set was running in the background, a newscaster running his spiel.

"…And in other news, Howard Shultz, a known associate of the infamous serial killer Red John, was found guilty of all charges in the conclusion of his trial today…"

A stiff, uncomfortable silence filled the small room at the name of Red John. "Patrick, can you pass me the salt?" Jane wordlessly passed the small canister to her. Lisbon shook a fractional amount of it into the pot and set it back down. The sharp clunk of the knife hitting the cutting board as Jane diced the onion was the only noise in the room. Lisbon laid the spoon down next to the pot and turned to Jane. "Patrick? Are you okay?"

Jane inhaled sharply and let the knife rest on the counter before turning to the dark haired woman, "Yes, yes, of course."

"No, you're not. You pretend like you are, but I know that inside you are going crazy. Red John was your life for almost 10 years, and then he was gone. You're closing yourself off, it's not healthy!" cried Lisbon.

"Firstly, he was not my life," began Jane.

"Don't lie to me. He was. Red John was more important than anything. He was everything."

"Fine," he spat, "Excuse me for trying to avenge my family. I'm sorry we all can't have amazing, loving families like you."

Kate and Jane both winced at his words. Jane now understood how much those words hurt his partner and if he could, he would punch his future self. Or get Lisbon to do it.

"Patrick, don't…."

"No, no, you want me to talk, so I'm talking. Red John was mine. He killed Angela and Charlotte. He killed my family. But you shot him. You took away my last trace of closure."

"Please listen-" She started, then cast her eyes down ward.

"What aren't you telling me? You're keeping some sort of secret,"

An empty silence filled the room, both staring at each other, one pleading, and the other stiff, unfeeling. Lisbon was the first to break the silence, "Look, Patrick, I don't want to lose you."

Jane slammed a fist on to the table, "Then why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not-"

"Yes, I can see it in your eyes. Teresa, you may have been around me for years, but you can't lie to save your life. Now what-"

"I'm, I'm, I-I'm," interrupted Lisbon, "I'm pregnant, Patrick."

Yet again, Lisbon's kitchen was filled with silence. Jane had completely frozen, blue eyes wide with shock. Lisbon sank down into one of the chairs, tears threatening to escape.

The past Jane was also silent, but there was a glimmer of hope beneath the shock. "She's… she's pregnant? But I always assumed she was, you know, older."

"This baby was your miracle. Your second, or third, or even fourth chance. And let's just see what you did." Kate snapped condescendingly, or as condescendingly as a teenager could.

"You're… pregnant?" Jane asked coolly.

"Yes. I took the test this morning. It was positive." Lisbon whispered softly. "Patrick, please talk to me."

Jane's eyes finally met Lisbon's, but there was no love, or affection in them. There was only coldness like Lisbon had never seen before, a dislike aimed at her.

"I'm sorry, this is just too much. I need to take a walk." Jane pushed past a now standing Lisbon, and stalked towards the door. He barely remembered to grab his coat and keys.

"Wow, you're a great person," commented Kate. Jane's face showed not a trace of emotion, except self-loathing.

Lisbon was slumped in the chair, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. She seemed to curl into herself as if protecting herself, but it was too late.

Jane blinked and found himself watching a heavily pregnant Lisbon sitting in a strange apartment. "Where-" His unfinished question was answered by Grace and the mysterious Maggie appearing.

"Here, Tess, eat this. It'll help." Maggie handed her a small carton of ice cream and a spoon with a sad smile. "So what's this letter?"

"It's over in my bag."

Grace fished it out and began reading silently. The emotions on her face ranged from pleasantly surprised, to raging, redhead fury in a matter of seconds. "He's in Philadelphia. And he's not coming back. That asshole." Lisbon's eyebrows shot up at the younger agent's unusual language. Grace quickly backtracked, "You know, in a manner of speaking."

Maggie, who had just finished reading the letter, nodded, "No, I agree with Grace's assessment. Jane's an asshole. And I only met him a few times."

"So, quick review here: You played with her emotions, got her pregnant, then ran off to the clear other side of the country. I applaud you." Every time Kate's hands would slap together, Jane would cringe and flinch violently.

Jane still looked to shell shocked for words and just stared blankly at Lisbon. "Maybe I'll come back once the baby is born."

"Why don't we see?"

"So, boss, you have a name for her?" Rigsby asked, making soft cooing noises at the small bundle in his arms. Lisbon looked absolutely exhausted, but happy all the same. The rest of the team was there as well. Grace was weighed down by a bunch of flowers, a teddy bear and a duffle bag. Cho's normally stoic face was replaced with one of quiet joy.

"I was thinking Alexandra Margaret."

"That sounds lovely," Grace chimed in cheerfully.

"I need to make a call," Cho said before walking outside. Punching in a number, he spat into the phone, "Jane. You have a daughter. Name's Alexandra Margaret _Lisbon." _ And slammed the phone shut.

"Let's see if you even come back for your daughter. Oh wait, you don't." Kate crossed her arms and pierced him with a terrifying glare that still somehow felt familiar and reassuring. "This is two years later."

Lisbon was shockingly in her office doing paperwork. But instead of an empty desk, it was littered with pictures of Alexandra.

Rigsby and Van Pelt knocked on the glass door and Lisbon waved them in with a smile. "Hey boss," Rigsby greeted cheerfully.

"Wayne, I'm not your boss anymore. How are things over at the arson division?" she asked, setting down her pen and ushering them to the two chairs in front of her office.

"It's going great. The team is really great. I'm very happy."

"That's great. Can I help you two with something?"

The couple shared a quick grin before Grace said, "I'm pregnant." Her mouth stretched to the widest smile any of them had ever seen on the sunny woman.

"Oh, that's great! When did you two find out?"

"Just this morning!" Lisbon rose from her chair to give the red head a hug and then gave Rigsby one as well.

"I'm so happy for you two."

Grace beamed as she blurted out, "Now Lexi will have someone to play with. It'll be great." Lisbon bobbed her head in the positive, "I can still work though, until I'm 8 months along."

"Rigsby," answered the man, cradling his phone in his shoulder, "Okay. Give me 5 minutes and I'll be down there." He turned to the two women, "I have to get going. Case just turned up. See you, boss," he smirked at Lisbon's obvious eye roll, then turned to his fiancé, "Love you, babe."

"Rigsby and Van Pelt got back together? I knew they were meant for each other. They're each other's lobster." Jane murmured to himself. Seeing Kate's look of confusion, he quickly clarified, "Lobsters mate for life. They have soul mates."

"Would not have guessed you to believe in that stuff."

"Grace, I need to go re-interview Rex Landa. You can either come or stay here and stay on that tracker."

Grace considered this for a moment before nodding, "I'll come with you. It's nice not to be stuck behind a desk anymore."

"Well, this place is a dump." Jane took in the filthy room he was now standing in. Trash replaced the carpet and the entire place reeked like a mixture of stale beer and human sweat. "Why can't suspects ever live in nice comfortable places?"

"Because that would be too easy, now wouldn't it, Jane?"

Jane gave a half-hearted shrug as he focused on the scene.

"Mr. Landa? It's Agent Lisbon from the CBI, I have a few more questions for you. Can you open up?" There was the resounding crack of fists hitting the wood of the door. "Mr. Landa?"

"Oh, there he is," Jane followed the line of Kate's finger to a heap of what he had initially believed to be dirty laundry.

The pile of clothes began to move and rise. A glint of steel flashed in the sliver of light in the room. Rex Landa grunted towards the door.

"If you don't open up, I'll break down this door." Lisbon called.

"Get off my property!"

"3…2…1…" _CRASH! _The door hitting the dirty ground caused a puff of dust to rise.

"I said get off my property!" screamed Landa, waving the gun around. He carefully aimed it at the two agents. Grace was temporarily blinded by the dust and did not notice the gun pointed directly at her. However, her small boss did. Lisbon launched herself at the redhead and managed to tackle her away from the speeding bullet.

Jane let out a sign of relief at the sight, but it did not last for long. A small pool of blood was spreading across the front porch. "Teresa!" he cried, sounding as if he had been the one to take the bullet.

If his entire focus had not been on Lisbon, he would've notice Kate wipe away a small tear.

"No, no, c'mon boss, don't die on me." Grace had shed her coat and was holding in over the seeping wound in Lisbon's side. "For Lexi. Please."

"T-te-tell Lexi I love h-her. She," cough, "'s my- my- my miracle. Find Ja-jane." Her breathing was becoming less and less steady.

"No, you don't get to die on me." Keeping one hand on the wound, Grace managed to fish her phone out of her pocket and dialed 911, "this is Agent Grace Van Pelt of the CBI. I have an agent down at this location. Gun shot wound to the abdomen. Need an ambulance now."

The next 3 minutes were the longest minute of everyone involved's life. Lisbon's eyes were fluttering open and shut, and her breathing had become weak. Grace kneeled next to her, tears streaming down her face.

Finally, the scream of the sirens was heard. Paramedics flooded the scene and were prying Grace away from Lisbon.

"Ma'am, you can ride in the bus with her, but we need to get going." One man said, dragging her along. Grace nodded wordlessly, shell shocked by the events.

"Grace," Lisbon stammered out, "Take- take care of my little girl. B-b-be happy. D-d-d-d-don't make my mistakes."

Jane could do nothing but stare helplessly. Kate wouldn't even look at the scene in front of her.

"Stay with me, Teresa. You can do it. I know you can."

Lisbon's lips moved, but no sound came out. Jane looked questioningly at Kate, "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil." She paused to inhale, "The Lord's Prayer." Jane returned his gaze to the woman on the bed.

"Lexi," sighed Lisbon softly, so softly it could barely be hear by those next to her.

"She's flat lining!" One of the medics called, pushing Grace out of the way roughly. Grace, who was on the phone with Cho, quickly ended her call and gripped Lisbon's hand.

Lisbon's chest rose and fell one last time and her lips seemed to curve slightly into the familiar smirk.

"She's gone," the medic declared.

"Teresa," Grace sobbed. She managed to collect herself enough to call Cho back, "She, she didn't make it." Cho's curses could be heard over the line, "Will you or Maggie or Wayne go and pick up Lexi. I can't believe she's gone. She's Lisbon, she is, was, invincible."

"Ma'am we're here."

"Okay, thank you."

"We'll try and get our coroner to get this done as quickly as possible." Grace nodded, but then asked, "Can I take her crucifix? You know for her daughter?"

"Of course. How old is her kid?"

Grace sniffled a bit before saying, "She's 3 years old. A real sweetie."

"Oh god. I hope she has a good dad."

There was a moment of pure discomfort between the two when Grace explained, "He, uh, ran out. Nobody knows where he ran off to."

"Ah, geez, I'm really sorry."

"No, no, it's okay. You didn't mean anything." Grace kept her eyes firmly trained on the gold necklace between her fingers. "I'd better get going. Thank you. I know you tried everything you could."

"Uh… you're welcome." The medic awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, "Well, I better get going."

"Of course." Grace offered the man a watery smile as he walked away.

"But my daughter…. What happens to her?" Jane asked, a tone of panic setting in.

"Do think I would leave you hanging?" Kate teased lightly, still a little choked up.

They soon found themselves watching the CBI team all sitting in front of Jane's couch. A dark haired little girl was curled up on the couch, completely asleep.

"So, who's going to tell her?" Rigsby inquired, speaking quietly as not to wake her. "Maybe you should do it, Grace. I mean, you're well, a woman. It makes it a little better, I guess. But if you don't want to, me or Cho will do it." Rigsby stumbled over his words in a way only he could.

Grace looked down at the necklace, and nodded, "No, I can do it. It might make her feel better. Have either of you two tried calling Jane?" She spat the last word out with as much venom as Grace Van Pelt could possibly muster.

"I tried calling his number, but it said it's been canceled. I did call her brothers. Tommy's on his way from San Francisco. James is flying in from Chicago. And Mark should be here soon. He was here for a training camp." Cho recited dutifully. The other two shared a sad smile.

"You know, she took that bullet for me. She saved me. It's my fault." Grace buried her face in her hands, "And to think earlier, we were just talking about the new baby and Lexi playing together. And now, she's gone. Lexi's never gonna have a mother. It's my fault." Rigsby rubbed a large hand up and down her back in what he assumed was a soothing manner. A tiny hand touched Grace's knee, causing her to look up sharply. A pair of vivid green eyes stared back at her.

"Auntie Wrace, why cwry?"

"Oh sweetie," sobbed Grace and she instantly pulled the girl into a tight hug. "I'm so, so, so sorry."

"Sowwy?" Her small hands found the gold necklace in Grace's hand, "Momma's neckwice! Momma?"

The soft cries from the girl brought fresh tears to the redhead's eyes. Grace's eyes flashed to the others and they nodded slightly, "Lexi, sweetie," she settled the girl on her knee so Lexi was facing her, "you know how Mommy's job is very dangerous."

Lexi bobbed her head quickly, "Mommy sway's dwagons and monstwers," she declared proudly.

"Uh-huh. Did she ever talk to you about how she might not come home some nights?"

"Is Mommy on a twip?"

Grace bit her lip and continued, "Sort of. Sweetie, Mommy's not coming home. She… she's with God up in heaven."

"Mommy's gone?" Jane could feel his heart breaking all over again at the sight of those big, watery green eyes. "Mommy!" wailed Lexi, clinging to Grace's neck. "I want my Mommy!"

"I'm so sorry, bud," Rigsby chimed in, ruffling her hair.

"Lexi!" Everyone turned and saw yet another dark haired man running towards them.

"Wuncle Marco! Where's Mommy?"

Mark scooped her up in his arms. Lexi buried her face in his neck, loud sobs muffled against his neck. "What happened?"

"Teresa was shot. A suspect started shooting. She saved Grace," Cho explained in remarkably few words.

"Here, we have this for Lexi. I think she would've want her to have it," Grace held up the gold crucifix.

"Reese's cross. This was my mother's and my grandma's before that. Reese definitely would've liked Lexi to have it." Mark gathered it in his hand, "Lex, can I put this on you?" Lexi pulled away from him and nodded slightly. "You look beautiful, just like your Mommy." At the words, Lexi broke into fresh sobs.

The sound of footsteps broke the silence of the room. "What happened? What happened to Tess?"

Grace was still silently crying while Wayne consoled her, so Cho responded, "She was killed saving Van Pelt."

Maggie looked at Van Pelt, an eyebrow raised, "How far along are you?"

"What?"

"I'm a doctor. I can tell when people are pregnant." Maggie replied curtly. "Congratulations." She turned her attention to Lexi and cooed, "Hey there, squirt, are you doing okay?"

"Waggie!" Lexi reached out her arms for the woman to hold her, which Maggie obliged to happily.

"You called James and Tommy right?" Mark asked, his eyes seeming to have permanently set to panic.

"Yes, Tommy's driving from San Fransisco. And James is waiting for a flight in Chicago. They'll both be here soon," Cho said calmly. "Do you want a coffee or something?"

"Yes, I would love some coffee." Mark sighed, sinking down into one of the chairs, his head buried in his hands, "This wasn't supposed to happen to Reese. She's the strongest person I know. She's done it all," he cast his gaze to Lexi, "Reese was so excited to be a mom, especially to a girl, not 3 rowdy boys. What about Lexi's dad?"

"We tried, but his phone has been disconnected."

"So who's gonna take care of Lexi?" Mark questioned hurriedly.

Lisbon's team shared a look, "We can take care of her. I know you travel a lot with your job, so it would be hard for you to settle down with a 3 year old. What about your other brothers? They couldn't take her, could they?" Grace asked, twining her fingers with Wayne's.

"James has a set of 5 year old twins and his wife is pregnant again. So I think he's out of the running. Tommy has Annie and he's doing that whole bounty hunter thing, which is not the best environment for a little kid. Reese had a will right?"

"I would guess so," Grace said with a shrug.

Maggie reappeared with Lexi propped on her hip, "She did. I was one of the witnesses."

"So we'll need to get that. What about a funeral?" Wayne turned to Mark, offering him the floor.

"I'll deal with that." Mark said softly, watching Lexi thoughtfully. "She looks just like Reese. A mini version of her. Where is her father?"

"We don't know. Last time any of us heard from him was when Teresa was pregnant and he said he was in Pennsylvania. But other then that, I have no clue. I would guess that he's not named as her guardian." Cho explained quickly.

"First thing tomorrow morning, I'll do a database search for him. Even if he won't come back, he deserves to know what happened," Grace, diplomatic as ever, reasoned.

"And this folks is what we call a royal fuck up." Kate said as the scene shifted. They were standing on the end of a funeral in a deceptively sunny and cheerful grave.

Jane's eyes instantly found the small figure of his daughter, curled up in her older cousin's arm. She was dressed in a black dress and her mother's cross hung around her neck. Annie ran a hand through her hair in a soothing manner, occasionally wiping away Lexi's tears and occasionally her own.

"Teresa Lisbon was possibly the most caring and giving person I have ever had the pleasure of working with and meeting. She protected all of us, saved us many times from our mistakes. She died saving my life and the life of my unborn child. I will always remember her and be in her debt." Grace swiped away a few stray tear from her cheek as she stepped down.

Cho patted her softly on the arm as he passed her. He resumed Grace's position at the podium, "The strength Teresa had was unparalleled. She was known for her stubbornness, but it was always well reasoned and for the better of others. She always believed in people and giving them second chances, some more then others," Jane, despite knowing they could not see him, looked away in shame, "She took me in when everyone else rejected me for my background. Teresa was able to look past rocky pasts, or distasteful families, or age. She saw the good in everyone. So in her memory, I ask that we all try and see the good in everyone."

"That's the most I've ever seen Cho say in one sitting," breathed Jane, shocked, "And I never knew he could be so passive aggressive."

"I probably knew Tess longer then anyone, spare her brothers. We were practically sisters when we were younger. She always pushed me to follow my dream of being a doctor, and now here I am. Tess dedicated her life to making this world safer for everyone. She truly was a superhero. She was so excited when she learned she was going to be a mother. Tess had so much love and heart to give. She wanted to share all of that with Lexi. That was dream was ripped cruelly away from both of them. But Teresa Lisbon left us all with some part of her, some thing we learned from her. It is up to us to share that with her daughter. We are her legacy. Thank you. Rest in peace, Tess." Maggie stepped down, hastily wiping her face on her sleeve.

Mark Lisbon was the next to speak, "People often think that they have a guardian angel. Someone up in heaven that watches over them, keeps them safe. My guardian angel lived on earth. She was my sister. She took so many punches for me and I pushed her away. It took me 15 years to figure out how much she sacrificed for me. But I know now how much she gave up for everyone she came in contact with. She truly was an angel. Love you, Reese." A loud wail interrupted the peaceful silence from Lexi.

"Momma!" she squealed, fresh tears hydrating the dry ones. Annie tried desperately to sooth the sobbing girl, but it was to no avail. Lexi continued crying, but her head was nuzzled against Annie's shoulder, preventing any wails from escaping.

Kate reached out and brushed a hand against Jane's. He spun to face her, obviously shocked. She smiled softly at him, eyes still watery. Jane responded with an equally watery smile.

Mark had left the podium and was kneeling in front of the little girl. "Lex, sweetie… it's okay. You're going to be okay."

"I…I…wa-wa-ant my mommy! Marco!" She twisted out of Annie's arms and threw herself at her uncle, who was trying desperately not to cry. Tommy rose from his spot next to Annie and gathered his older brother and niece in a tight hug.

There was not a dry eye in the place when James joined.

After the Lisbon family hug, the funeral proceed as usual. A priest dressed in formal attire stood over the hole in the ground where Lisbon's body had been lowered. He recited something in Latin Jane did not understand. And then handfuls of dirt were thrown on the coffin and Teresa Lisbon was truly gone from the earth.

"Surely, I'll come back for my daughter. I'm not going to leave her on her own."

Kate's eyebrows shot up her forehead at an alarming rate, "Wanna bet on that? Let's go see where you are,"

They soon found themselves in a dreary, muddy graveyard. Three men stood around a freshly dug grave. A clean, unsullied headstone rested at the end of the grave.

"Rest in peace man," One of the men said, pushing his long, wet hair out of his eyes. "So no ID on the body?"

"Nope," another replied, "No wallet, no wedding ring, no pictures, no nothing. No family showed up to identify him, or even file a missing person's. But, the guy did have a sweet suit on. One of those fancy 3 piece ones. You know, like showmen do?" The other two nodded in acknowledgement.

"Well, boys, it's too cold for an old man like me, so we'd better pack up,"

"Okay Digger, we'll get right on that."

"I died?" Jane spluttered weakly.

"…Yeah… car accident. It wasn't the Citroën if that helps."

"I died"

"Yes,"

"I'm dead…"

"Yes. Everybody dies. No one is immortal. Get over yourself," bit out Kate.

Jane reeled backwards at her harsh tone, but remained quiet after that.

A small dark haired girl bounded down the stairs, a braid bouncing up and down off her back. She had aged a few years since the last time they had seen her. Even at the age of 7, Lexi looked like the spitting image of her mother. "Marco! Marco! Marco!" she called.

"Polo! Polo! Polo!" Mark yelled back from a back room. "Hey, Lex, you ready for your first hockey practice?"

Lexi rolled her eyes and Jane smiled broadly; that was all him.

"Marco," she began with the sass of Lisbon and Jane combined, "I've been skating since I was this little," Lexi stated as if it was general knowledge.

Mark squatted down next to his little niece. "I know that, and you know that, but everyone else doesn't know that. So you just go out and skate your hardest, okay?"

"How else would I skate? My softest? That doesn't make any sense, Marco." Jane's heart swelled at the sight of the perfect little smirk on his daughter's face. It was a perfect copy of Lisbon's, one that he saw all too often.

"It's an expression, now go get your stuff."

Jane mused, "I never would've guessed I would have a kid playing hockey."

"Yeah, well, you do." Kate shot back, somewhat defensively.

While Jane stared curiously at Kate, the scene around them changed.

"Lex, Cho will pick you up. You're staying over there. Be on your best behavior. Their baby is still little, not a big girl like you. Now go get 'em." Mark ruffled her hair affectionately as she sat down on one of the benches and began pulling out the numerous pieces of equipment.

"Okay then, Marco. You can leave, I don't need my uncle to stand over me."

"Fine, fine, I'm leaving kiddo." Mark shook his head with a smile. After a long pause, Mark turned his back to Lexi and walked out of the rink.

Kate pulled Jane up to the stands and pushed him into a bench. Jane's vacant eyes were trained on his small daughter who was quietly sitting by herself, not making eye contact with any of the others.

"That has to be all Teresa. I am in no way shy or antisocial."

"Just watch your daughter."

"Why are we?" Jane asked, eyes not leaving his daughter.

"Well, you see, I thought you might like to see your daughter, but if you don't, then we can go," Kate replied with a shrug. She stood to move, but Jane roughly yanked her down. "Or we can stay."

Jane watched with utter fascination as his daughter practiced. But eventually, an hour later, it came to an end. Jane's eyes glowed with the pride of a father as she stepped off.

"Cho! Cho!" Lexi cried, grinning broadly at the Asian man.

"Lexi," he nodded to her in his usual greeting. "Let's get your stuff packed up. Julia made dinner for you,"

"Grilled cheese?" She asked eagerly.

"Yeah,"

Cho lifted her heavy bag over his shoulder and led her over to the door.

A few stray parents, waiting for their kids, muttered to the others, "Wasn't the man who dropped her off different?"

"Yes, and the girl is most definitely not Asian." A mother with her face coated in makeup said smugly, as if she was the smartest person in the world.

Jane glared at the woman with all of his might, despite the fact she did not even know that he existed.

"Kate, did she ever know who… who I was?"

"Eventually." Kate said cryptically. "Would you like to see?"

"Yes, I would love to," choked out Jane, tears clogging his senses.

The scene shimmered into a gloomy graveyard, barely illuminated by the dim light of morning. The entire CBI team, and the three Lisbon brothers stood to one side, watching as Lexi squatted down next to her father's grave.

"Hi Dad," whispered the teenager. There was barely a trace of Jane in the girl. Her hair was dark and curly, her eyes forest green and she must have been only a couple inches shorter than her mother. Even down to her jeans and jacket did she look like her mother. There was very little of a mischievous glint that belonged to Jane. There was of course the glimmer of humor that Lisbon had always had, but at the moment her eyes were remorseful.

Jane stood stock still as his daughter spoke. "You probably don't even know I exist. But that's alright, I suppose." Ah, there was Lisbon's usual blame herself gene. "I know you had another daughter and a wife before. It's fine that you didn't want us or me. I don't hate you for that. What I do hate you for is what you did to my mother. I can barely remember her. And even fewer of those memories is she actually smiling. I can never forgive you for leaving her. I had to grow up, not only without a father, but without a mother. And that is your fault. I will always, I suppose, care about you in some twisted way. But I will also hate you forever." Lexi pushed herself up, a world-weary expression on her face. She lazily dropped a bouquet of flowers onto the grassy ground without a second thought.

Jane stared, open mouthed, at Lexi. She waltzed back to the adults. "Can we go?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll go get the car," Rigsby volunteered quickly, shuffling away from the awkwardness of Lexi's anger.

Van Pelt reached out for her shoulder and Lexi shuddered slightly under her touch, "Lexi, are you alright?" Her fingers darted up to the gold necklace that hung around her neck in force of habit.

Lexi turned to the taller redhead, and said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanna go back home. When is our flight?"

"It's not until tomorrow. Sorry," Van Pelt responded sadly, pitying the teenager in front of her.

"No, it's fine, Aunt Grace. Really, I'm fine," but it seemed as if she was reassuring herself more than anything.

"But… did… what if…." Jane struggled to find words, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"What if Teresa had never died?" Kate supplied.

"Yes, wouldn't it be better?"

Kate's shoulders bobbed up and down in a shrug. "It depends on your definition of better."

"Can you show me?"

"You mean, can I show you that reality? Yes, yes, I can. You can decide which you think is better."

"Alternate realities?" Jane spluttered.

"Yeah, there are always alternate realities."

"You mean, there's one Angela and Charlotte are still alive. Is there a way to jump between realities?"

Kate's eyes darkened ridiculously and she snarled, "You are such a git. Even after all of this…."

Jane took a tentative step back from the fuming girl. His mind was still racing, trying to figure out how he knew her. There was something eerily familiar about her, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He stared at her trying to figure it out, but nothing was clicking.

"Well, are you waiting for the grass to grow?" Kate asked sharply. Jane was jolted out of his musings and looked at her in confusion. "It's a little bit more complicated to switch realities. So come on." Kate grasped one of his hands and dragged him through the fog that surrounded them.

* * *

**Oooo, alternate realities? Next time! Any guesses who Kate is? And Jane really is a big git. **

**Drop me a note if you please. It makes my day and makes me write just that much faster! **

**hoagie**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Shadow of the Past**

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize. **

* * *

_"What if Teresa had never died?" Kate supplied._

_"Yes, wouldn't it be better?"_

_Kate's shoulders bobbed up and down in a shrug. "It depends on your definition of better."_

_"Can you show me?"_

_"You mean, can I show you that reality? Yes, yes, I can. You can decide which you think is better."_

_"Alternate realities?" Jane spluttered._

_"Yeah, there are always alternate realities."_

_"You mean, there's one Angela and Charlotte are still alive. Is there a way to jump between realities?"_

_Kate's eyes darkened ridiculously and she snarled, "You are such a git. Even after all of this…."_

_Jane took a tentative step back from the fuming girl. His mind was still racing, trying to figure out how he knew her. There was something eerily familiar about her, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He stared at her trying to figure it out, but nothing was clicking._

_"Well, are you waiting for the grass to grow?" Kate asked sharply. Jane was jolted out of his musings and looked at her in confusion. "It's a little bit more complicated to switch realities. So come on." Kate grasped one of his hands and dragged him through the fog that surrounded them. "So everything up to the point where Teresa dies is the same. That's the thing about alternate realities, there might only be one thing off, but it can change everything."_

Jane watched again as Van Pelt and Rigsby told Lisbon of their pregnancy. It seemed surreal. And a ghost was leading around Jane. "This is so weird." He muttered.

"Rigsby," answered the man, cradling his phone in his shoulder, "Okay. Give me 5 minutes and I'll be down there." He turned to the two women, "I have to get going. Case just turned up. See you, boss," he smirked at Lisbon's obvious eye roll, then turned to his fiancé, "Love you, babe."

"Rigsby and Van Pelt. They're each other's lobster." Jane murmured to himself. Kate rolled her eyes at his repetition. Jane continued, "Lobsters mate for life. They have soul mates." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "You know, there is only one other person I know who is so cynical about life."

"Hmm," Kate responded, entirely interested in what he was saying. "That's nice."

"Grace, I need to go re-interview Rex Landa. You can either come or stay here and stay on that tracker."

Grace considered this for a moment before nodding, "I'll come with you. It's nice not to be stuck behind a desk anymore."

The pair found themselves in the filth of Rex Landa's house once again. And Jane couldn't help but feel this sense of impending doom.

"Mr. Landa? It's Agent Lisbon from the CBI, I have a few more questions for you. Can you open up?" There was the resounding crack of fists hitting the wood of the door. "Mr. Landa?"

"Oh, there he is," Jane followed the line of Kate's finger to a heap of what he had initially believed to be dirty laundry.

The pile of clothes began to move and rise. A glint of steel flashed in the sliver of light in the room. Rex Landa grunted towards the door.

"If you don't open up, I'll break down this door." Lisbon called.

"Get off my property!"

"3…2…1…" _CRASH! _The door hitting the dirty ground caused a puff of dust to rise.

"I said get off my property!" screamed Landa, waving the gun around. He carefully aimed it at the two agents. Grace was temporarily blinded by the dust and did not notice the gun pointed directly at her. However, her small boss did. Lisbon launched herself at the redhead and managed to tackle her away from the speeding bullet.

"But that's the same as last time."

"For someone who's job it is to be hyper observant, you aren't doing that great of a job." Kate snapped irritably.

Jane held his hands up, palm facing the ceiling. "Sorry," he muttered moodily.

"Boss?" Van Pelt cried out, drawing both of their attentions. A small pool of blood was collecting under Lisbon's shoulder.

"I'm alright, it's just a graze." Lisbon motioned her uninjured arm towards the small scrape. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? We should get you to a hospital." Van Pelt insisted. She helped Lisbon up.

"Call Cho, tell him to come pick up Landa. Van Pelt, cuff him to his porch," Lisbon, despite her best efforts, winced slightly as she supported her own weight. "Damn," she muttered under her breath while the redhead yanked Landa out of the house.

"Rex Landa, you are under arrest for the murder of Julia Mare and for attacking a federal agent."

The scene changed into Bertram's office where Lisbon was sitting, a sling supporting her injured shoulder.

"It's good to see you back, Agent Lisbon. How is your shoulder doing? No lasting effects?"

Lisbon shook her head slightly, "No, the doctors said I just have to take it easy for another week or so."

"And how is your daughter? Are you managing with only one arm?" Bertram asked, shifting a few papers around.

"Lexi's doing great. She was a bit confused at first, but she understands now. It's been hard, but my brother, Mark, was in town and he helped out a bit."

"That's actually why I called you in here." Lisbon's eyebrows immediately knit together in confusion. "Our jobs are very dangerous. There are so many things that can go wrong. People occasionally don't return home. You've had a few close shaves, haven't you?" Lisbon nodded, still confused where he was going with this.

"Sir? What are you saying?"

"As a single parent, you have much more responsibility. If something were to happen to you, your daughter would be alone in this world. What I'm trying to say is, you have a special situation in front of you. I think it would be best for you to perhaps, limit your field work." Bertram looked to Lisbon for any sort of response, but she just stared coldly back at him. "It's not ideal, but do really want to risk it?"

"No, sir, of course not. That makes perfect sense." Lisbon gritted out, her jaw set firmly. "I have to go. It's almost 4. Lexi gets out of daycare in a half an hour. Good afternoon."

"Feel better, Agent Lisbon." Bertram called after her as she stalked out of the room.

"Again, I don't see the downside. Isn't it good that Lisbon is being more careful? You know with Lexi around?" Jane said. Kate rolled her eyes in irritation at his obliviousness.

"What are the things that matter the most to Teresa Lisbon?" Kate asked tiredly.

"Her team, her family, Lexi and, oh… her job."

"And that'll be 100 points to the blonde idiot!" Kate slowly clapped, taunting the older man. "So not only is she raising a kid on her own because you did a runner, but now also, her boss wants her to lay off a bit. How'd think that'll go over? Huh?"

"Sorry," mumbled Jane. "Didn't think."

"Too right." Kate shot back.

Lisbon, now cast free, was in the process of making breakfast for Lexi, whose attention was glued to the television. An episode of Scooby Doo enraptured all of her attention.

"Lexi, do you want apple juice or orange juice?" Lisbon called, but Lexi did not respond. "Lexi?"

"Mommy, I'm watching Scooby Doo," the 3 1/2 year old whined. "I like seeing who they think the bad guy is. They're swilly!"

Lisbon carried over a plate of eggs and toast accompanied by a glass of orange juice. "Why are they silly?"

Lexi, rolling her eyes slightly, turned to face her mother and said, "Well, I alreadwy figured it out. It was the grwounds man. He's dwessed up like a swamp monswter," Lexi swallowed a mouthful of eggs quickly and continued with a jack'o'lantern smile, "He's using a microphone and a fog machine to swcare everyone. It's eady!"

Lisbon grinned at her daughter, who beamed back, obviously proud of herself, "Very clever, little one. But now you need to eat your breakfast." Lisbon deftly scooped up the remote and turned the TV off. Lexi scarfed down her breakfast at break neck speeds. Lisbon watched her with a quiet calm, smiling to herself. "Lex, can you go get dressed? I need to drop you off before I go to work."

"Yes, Mama. I can do all by myself!" She proclaimed happily. Lexi hopped down from her chair and scurried out of the room.

Lisbon scraped the leftover food into the trash, suddenly seeming much more tired, and gloomy.

A sad, almost haunted look overtook her eyes, and she seemed emptier then before. She scrubbed a hand across her face quickly, as if to brush away her sadness.

Jane watched her closely, his face drawn. "She's so sad." He whispered weakly.

Kate's arm flew out and nailed him on the arm. "And whose fault is that?"

"…Mine…."

"I can do this. I don't need some blonde haired mentalist to live my life. I raised three boys by myself. I can do this." Lisbon whispered to herself, repeating the words like a mantra. "I have Lexi, and the team, and Mark, Tommy and James. I don't need him."

"Does… does she know I died?" Jane asked.

"You'll see. There's a reason I showed you this scene." Kate said, "This is the day Grace finally figures out where you are, or rather, where you were."

Jane, not even noticing the scene change, just dutifully followed Lisbon into her office. The dark haired woman hung her coat and dropped her gun into the drawer in her desk.

Cho, Van Pelt, a man close to Cho's age and a younger woman sat outside at the conference table.

"Who's the other woman and man?" Jane asked with feigned interest, most of his attention was focused on Lisbon.

"Well, someone needed to replace Risgby. The man's name is Jeff Richardson. He transferred from the Seattle police department. And the woman is still a trainee. Her name's Gwen Johnston She's the 'new Lisbon' I s'pose. Up and coming star, most likely will make it to director in 10 years. As long as no one holds her down." Kate shot a pointed glare in his direction.

Jane at least had the decency to look somewhat ashamed, but then ruined it by saying, "Well, maybe me getting stuck with Lisbon is a testament to her great leadership."

"Or… you getting stuck with her ruined what could've been a great career," Kate suggested drily. "But that's not important right now. What's important is what is going on over there,"

"And what exactly is that?" Jane asked, nearly bored.

Cho stuck his head in the door and curtly said, "Boss, can you come out here?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" Lisbon asked as she followed him out into the bullpen. Grace looked up at the pair, her eyes wide and a hint of sadness buried in them.

"Uh, boss…." Grace began, stammering like she had when she initially joined the team, "You see…."

"Grace, what's wrong? Is someone hurt?" Lisbon asked worriedly, going into full-blown mother hen mode.

Jane smiled sadly, remembering her mothering behavior. In the past months since his fake break down, she had backed down on mothering him, as if she wasn't really trying anymore.

"Er… no…." Grace was still struggling to find the right words for whatever it was she needed to say. "You see, we've been…uh… keeping an eye on Jane for the past couple of years." Lisbon's face contorted into a look of anger and a heavy hint of sadness.

"Does he know about Lexi?" Lisbon gritted out. Jane felt his heart seize up at her harsh tone, almost as if she didn't want him to know about her.

This time, Cho spoke up, "Yes, I called him on the day she was born. I left a message. He knew." His words were short and laconic as usual, but his face was softer than the usual look of ice.

"Wait, he knew? As in past tense?" Jane couldn't help but feel a slight surge of pride that Lisbon was noticing details.

"Yes… uh… that's what we're trying to tell you, boss," Grace continued, finding her voice. "Jane's dead. He was killed in a car crash a month ago."

Lisbon froze momentarily, and her facial features adopted a look of cool indifference. But Jane knew better, he could almost always read her eyes and they betrayed her pain and sadness. "Thank you, Grace, Kimball. Then she turned to Gwen, "Johnston, have you found out who are vic worked for yet?"

"What? She finds out I'm dead and she goes back to work? I thought she was supposed to be the Great Saint Teresa. The one who cares about everyone."

Kate wheeled on him, fury in her eyes. "You left her." She jabbed a finger harshly into his shoulder, sending him reeling backwards, "You abandoned your own child. You left Teresa Lisbon to be a single parent. You shattered her heart to pieces, but she had to look strong for the team, for _her daughter, _"

"Technically our daughter," interjected Jane cheekily, his tongue and cheek knowing no bounds.

Kate eyes flashed with pure rage, and her voice rose to new heights, "Are you kidding me?" she shrieked. "You are unbelievable. No wonder she never talked about you. Do you realize what you put them both through? It is not easy to raise a kid on your own. And kids are cruel, terrible people. _Your _daughter," mocked Kate, "had to go through her childhood without a father. Sure, Lexi had Marco, and Cho, and Rigsby, but none of them were her father. How can you put a child through that and not feel any remorse?" Kate breathed heavily as she stopped, her eyes still brimming with anger, but her posture was more relaxed.

Jane remained silent, not wanting to aggravate her further. Marco, he thought, only Lisbon called him that. Interesting….

Lisbon turned on her heel, dark hair flying out behind her. Cho and Van Pelt shared a worried look before Grace scurried after her boss.

Lisbon was seated at her desk, gently massaging her temple, a sure tell sign she was distressed. Grace opened the door, and slipped in. She took the seat across from Lisbon, who looked at the red head with pure professionalism. "What can I do for you, Grace?" She asked cordially.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong."

Grace's eyebrows rocketed towards her hairline and she asked, "Really? Jane's dead."

"I know. I've always known it would happen, if not Red John, or a pissed off suspect, then it would be his reckless driving."

"But Lexi…."

"He left. He left us, Grace. He ran away. I've moved on with my life." Lisbon spat out, venom in her voice that left Jane reeling.

Grace pressed a sticky note on to Lisbon's desk. "Okay, I just wanted to check on you. Here's the address of his grave, you know if you want to…. I'm just gonna go… uh…." Grace quickly stood to leave, a blush fighting its way up her cheeks.

As Grace began to pull open the door, Lisbon called after her, "Hey Grace," the red head turned around slowly, "Thank you. It means a lot." Lisbon offered a slight smile, which Grace returned happily.

"Kate, you said earlier that Lexi had issues because I was gone. What did you mean?"

Kate smiled slightly, and said, "I can show you."

The scene melted into a classroom with around 20 kids plus an assortment of adults that looked out of place in the classroom with their suits, and various work uniforms. Jane could easily pick out Lexi and Mark Lisbon with their dark hair and forest green eyes. The white board proudly proclaimed "Bring Your Dad To School!". A slight pit was forming in the bottom of Jane's stomach at the sight of the words.

Two men in a business suits were babbling on about finances. All of the 6th graders were staring blankly at him, except for one blonde haired boy and girl. Jane assumed they were the children of the two men, judging on their looks.

"…And then Mr. Stevens, Ian's dad, gives the money to the customers."

"That's how our financing firm, Stevens and Zachary, works." The other man finished happily, straightening out his suit with a pompous look on his face.

"I bet that's a real hit with the 6th graders," quipped Jane. A strained smile appeared on Kate's lips, but she did not say anything.

A rounded woman took the businessmen's place in front of the class and announced, "Can we all thank Allegra and Ian's dads?" A limp smattering of applause sounded as dazed 4th graders were prodded by their parents, "And now, Lexi's uncle, Mark Lisbon is going to be talking about his hockey career."

Mark, dressed much more causally than the other men, bounded up to the front of the class, a wide smile stretching his face. "Lexi, could you bring my bag up here?" Lexi, obviously proud of herself, heaved the bag up to her uncle. "Why don't you stay up here and be my little helper?" He asked with a wink.

"Okay, Uncle Marco." Lexi beamed, showing off a jack 'o' lantern smile before leaning up against the board behind him.

Jane's attention was focused on Mark Lisbon's talk about his foundation until Kate tugged him to where Stevens and Zachary were sitting.

"So this man is not her father, but her uncle?" One of them said, crinkling his nose in distaste.

"But they share a last name so it must be on her mother's side then," the other pointed out, "Maybe her father doesn't do anything interesting. Allegra, does your friend, Lexi, have a father?"

"She's not my friend."

"Fine, but have you ever seen her father?"

Allegra thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "No, I don't think so. Her mom is a police officer, and I've seen her uncle pick her up. One time there was a lady who coulda been her aunt. And then I saw a red headed lady pick her up."

"Don't forget about the Asian man," Ian interjected.

"You know I really hate people who name their kids weird, double names." Jane muttered defensively.

Kate rolled her green eyes irritably, but chose not to retaliate.

Mark finished his talk by handing out t-shirts to the entire class, much to their delight. The two men watched him carefully. "It's always such a pity when there is a bastard child." One muttered after Mark handed his child a t-shirt.

"What's a bastard, Father?" Ian asked, his small nose turned up slightly.

"A bastard is someone whose father ran off after knocking up their mother. It's truly a disgrace,"

Jane nearly growled at the men in anger and if he weren't a ghost, he'd have punched them or at least messed with their heads.

"Thank you, Uncle Marco!" Lexi threw her arms around the man's neck, a huge smile adorning her young face. "You were awesome!"

"Anytime Squirt, anytime." He whispered into her hair, his eyes slightly sad.

The portly woman stood back up, her hips swaying wildly. "We'll be having a light snack now, so children can play, or stay with their fathers, and parents feel free to mingle." She smiled cheerfully at all of them as chairs scraped away from the tables. Lexi disappeared into the crowd of small children. Jane followed her dutifully through her class. He didn't even notice when a few rowdy boys passed through him.

Lexi and another little girl were reading a book happily, giggling occasionally. Jane could sense something was wrong when Allegra and Ian strolled over to the girls, noses held high in the air.

Lexi and her friend remained oblivious to the two stuck up kids standing in front of them until Allegra spoke, "Hm, it's no wonder she's so uncivilized, it's because Alexandra doesn't have a father." Lexi slowly raised her eyes, and Jane couldn't help but take a small step back. They were identical to Lisbon's when she was so pissed with him.

"Do you even know who your father is?" Ian added cruelly, but there was also some pity and sympathy behind his tone.

Lexi bolted to her feet, but she was still significantly shorter then the other two. "Shut up."

"Or maybe he ran off because you're so badly behaved?" Allegra prodded, crossing her arms across her chest.

A blush quickly flushed Lexi's pale cheeks and she said as coolly as possible, "Go away."

"Oh, the poor dear, I'd bet she doesn't even know who her father is, does your mother even know?" Allegra continued. Ian, though, looked a little bit more uncomfortable then before.

"He doesn't want to be here. Oh, he has a crush on Lexi!" Jane declared happily, jabbing a finger in the air.

"Of course, that's what you should take away from your daughter being bullying. A boy likes her. Good job on the parenting front there," Kate said, standing slightly behind Jane.

"Meh," he waved a hand at her, focusing back on Lexi.

"Why did your father leave, Alexandra?" Allegra continued. Jane knew from the look on Lexi's face she was getting very close to attacking the other girl, he got that look about once a week from Lisbon.

"Don't call me Alexandra. And shut up."

"It's really no wonder he left, he-" Allegra didn't get to finish her sentence as Lexi's fist collided with her face. The room fell silent as Lexi yelled,

"Don't talk about my mom like that." Mark quickly caught her arm before she could land another punch.

"Lexi, calm down. It's okay. C'mon, sweetie." He lifted her into his arms, running a soothing hand down her back.

"Look what your niece did to my beautiful girl," one of the men growled, inspecting his daughters bloodied noise. "She savagely attacked her."

"No, Allegra was saying mean things to Lexi," Lexi's friend chimed in, standing to her feet, book still in hand.

"I don't know whether to be proud or upset that she's so violent like her mother."

"Well, it's your fault, so it doesn't really matter does it?" Kate asked sharply.

Jane hung his head, a fresh wave of self-pity washing over him.

The teacher hurried over, and said, "Miss. Lisbon, Mr. Lisbon, if you would go down to the principal's office, and Mr. Zachary, you too. Allegra, go wash up, then go to the principal's office, as well."

Mark carried Lexi down to the office, whispering calming words to her.

The principal was a wiry man, with wiry glasses and wiry, gray hair. His desk was in immaculate condition, not a single paper out of place. Mark turned Lexi so she was facing the old man. "Ah, Miss Lisbon, back again are we?"

The door slammed open and Zachary plowed in, full of bluster. "I want her expelled, she attacked Allegra."

"Now, please calm down, Mr. Zachary. Miss Lisbon, would you mind telling me what happened?"

Lexi nodded, her eyes watery, and she said quietly, "I was reading with Sarah, then Allegra and Ian came over."

"Why did you punch, Miss Zachary?" The principal asked calmly, lacing his finger in front of his face so he was looking over them.

"She was saying stuff about my mom, and how my…my… dad ran off…" Tears welled in her eyes and she turned her face into Mark's shoulder. "She said it was my fault that he left." The principal nodded sympathetically and with a slight smile said,

"Why don't you go out while I talk to your uncle? I think Ms. Gold has a few books you could read." Lexi smiled slightly at the man, and then hopped down from Mark's lap.

As soon as the door closed, the principal looked at the two men. "Mr. Zachary, do you have an explanation for Allegra's behavior?"

"Well, she's only saying what's true, is she not?" He glared pointedly at Mark, who returned it with the usual Lisbon fervor. "Does your niece not have a father? Isn't why you're here?"

"Yes," gritted out Mark.

"Well, then Allegra was merely pointing out the obvious. Her father ran off, didn't he? And her mother raises her on her own. The girl should've gotten over it by now."

"First of all, you don't know anything about her family. Secondly,-"

Zachary cut him off quickly, "Your family is Catholic, correct?" Mark nodded stiffly, anger still coursing through his veins, "So your sister had a child out of wedlock. My sweet Allegra was just stating the obvious."

"You have no clue what Lexi and her mother have gone through. And for your information, her father is dead. Principal Jones, I'm going to take Lexi home, if that's all right. You can call her mother, Teresa Lisbon, if you have anymore questions." Without another word, Mark stood up and stalked out, or stalked as much as a tall, lanky, hockey player could.

Jane was staring blankly at a spot on the principal's desk. "How can children act like that?"

"They're cruel, cruel people." Kate said sadly, touching a hand to his shoulder. "Now, c'mon, let's go."

Mark and Lexi stepped out of the elevator into the ever-familiar lobby of the CBI. Lisbon and her team were sitting in the bullpen, seemingly going over cold cases. Jane's couch was still there, but it had been moved from its normal position. Jane, sensing he would get another scolding from Kate, chose not to say anything about it.

"Reese?" Mark knocked on the glass walls of the bullpen, attracting everyone's attention.

"Mark, Lexi? What are you two doing here?" She asked, rising to her feet. "Is something wrong?" Her mind seemed to go instantly to the worst possible situation.

"Always thinking of the worst, she is," Jane said softly, following the Lisbons into the eldest's office.

"I wonder why," snapped Kate, a strange bitterness seeping into her tone. This teenaged girl truly perplexed him. He knew her from somewhere…but couldn't for the life of him place her.

"Mark, what happened?" she asked softly, looking at her sullen, pouting child who had thrown herself on to the couch.

"She got in a fight at school. Look, Reese, I wish I could stay, but I've got this special charity dinner tonight, and I need to go and…"

"It's fine, Mark. Go, I'll deal with her." Lisbon made a slight shooing motion with her hand. "Why did she get in a fight?"

"Ask her yourself. I don't think you'll be too mad when you find out." Mark explained cryptically.

Lisbon raised her eyebrows and with a sigh, said, "It had to do with her father, didn't it?" As she said those words, sadness filled her green eyes, but they were the only indication of it.

"Yeah, but I'm going to let you deal with it," Mark said, edging his way out of the office.

Lisbon turned back to Lexi, rolling her eyes slightly at Mark's antics. Lexi propped herself up and faced her mother, "Mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Why don't I have a dad?"

Jane whipped around to face Kate, who was leaning against the door frame, no emotion in her face. "Does she not know?"

"I'm sure that goes over well with a 12 year old. Hi sweetie, your pathetic excuse for a father ran off because he was a coward. How was your day?" Kate replied. Her eyes were once again cold and hard, showing him nothing.

Lisbon's green eyes were wide, like a deer caught in the headlights. She was at a total loss for words. Kate was right, what do you say to a 12 year old?

"Was it my fault?" Lexi dropped her eyes and the beginnings of tears were forming in her eyes.

Lisbon was next to Lexi in a flash, bringing her into her arms. Lisbon squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that threatened. "No, it wasn't."

"Then why do you never talk about him?" Lexi questioned innocently, not realizing the pain this was causing her mother.

Lisbon breathed in slowly, preparing herself for this. "Nearly 20 years ago, there was a serial killer, called Red John. Now your father, Patrick Jane, had a family. A wife and a daughter. Jane was a fake psychic and he offended Red John on a talk show. His wife and daughter were killed. Then, he came to the CBI and became a consultant. But he was always trying to find and kill Red John. Uncle Cho, Uncle Wayne, Aunt Grace and I were in charge of the case. A lot of people died trying to catch him. I had a friend, Sam Bosco, and his whole team was killed just because the case was taken from my team. Red John had a strange obsession with Jane and eventually the whole team. We tried for almost ten years to catch him, but every time we got close, he would disappear. But we did figure out who he was. He kidnapped me in order to lure Jane out. Jane found me, but I got shot during the gunfight. Red John was dead. That was Jane's goal in life, to kill Red John and avenge his wife and daughter. I thought he would just disappear after that. But he came back for me. There was still something though that was haunting him, I don't know if it was guilt or he was still in love with his wife. And the night I told him I was pregnant we argued. He walked out. He did send me a letter in my 8th month telling me he was in Philadelphia. I didn't hear from him again. Cho called him the day you were born to tell him, but he didn't pick up the phone. Nearly 8 years ago, Grace found out that he had died in a car crash. He always was a reckless driver," she smiled sadly at the memories of her constant scolding of his driving habits.

"Why did he leave?" Lexi inquired in a small voice.

Lisbon stroked her daughter's hair lovingly, and answered softly, "I don't know. Maybe it was just too much for him after his wife and child. I always knew they came first. I'm so sorry, sweetie." She pressed a kiss to the crown of her hair. "What happened at school?"

"I hit Allegra." Lexi mumbled, as if Lisbon would just ignore it if she said it quietly enough.

"Why? Did she do something?"

Lexi nodded limply. "She said… that it was my fault… that I…d-d-don-don-don't have a father," tears began streaming down her face in rivulets.

"Shh…. Sweetheart, it's not your fault, it never has been. Don't blame yourself for this." She ran a soothing hand down her back, desperately trying to calm Lexi down.

Jane watched, tears filling his eyes, as the scene faded into another.

Lisbon, looking even wearier than ever, was dutifully filling out paperwork, as usual. But she wasn't in her office, she was now in a much nicer one, the one that previously housed Minelli, Hightower and Wainwright.

"She got promoted?" Jane questioned, a trace of happiness slipping into his voice.

"Yeah," Kate nodded, "But she'll always wonder if it's more a result of her getting older, not because she's a good agent."

"But she's an amazing agent!" protested Jane. Lisbon was one of the more perspective cops he had ever met.

"You also need to take into account that she's a single mother. Can you imagine the hell Lexi could raise? And Lisbon has a dangerous job. She dies, and Lexi has no one."

Jane bobbed his head in quiet acknowledgement. "I'm guessing Cho's in charge of the team then, yes?"

"Yep, Grace is his second in command." Kate explained. "Ah, here we go."

Lexi, now in her teenaged years, strolled in, possessing some of Jane's legendary swagger. "Hey Mom," she greeted as she slumped down in the chair across from her mother.

"Hi Lexi, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, where is my game again?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. The schedule's in the car," Lisbon said, standing up and grabbing her coat.

"What game?" Jane inquired as they followed the mother daughter duo out of the office.

"Soccer." Kate stated simply. "She's pretty good. You see what I mean. A few differences can change everything. Lisbon doesn't die, Lexi plays soccer. She does die, Lexi plays hockey. Weird, huh?" The ghosts followed the pair into the elevator and Jane began tapping his foot as the elevator lurched to a start. It only moved down a couple of feet before stopping again. Van Pelt stood in front of the door and darted in quickly.

"Afternoon, boss," she beamed at the older woman. "Thanks for your help, Lexi. You were right."

"What help?" Lisbon asked, obviously confused.

"Oh, Lexi helped us with this robbery-homicide we were working. She picked the perp just by looking at our 3 suspects. And she got it right. It was just…." She halted, seeing the pained expression on Lisbon's face. Quickly covering her error, she finished, "Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant."

Lexi smiled brightly at the redhead, evidently pleased with herself. "Thanks, Aunt Grace."

"That's really great, Lexi, but what have I said about helping out on cases?"

Lexi rolled her eyes a bit and replied, "Not to, because I have a young impressionable mind."

"Yes, but good job anyway. At least you're helping out, not being a hindrance." A soft look of remembrance appeared on both of the older women's faces, but neither acknowledged it.

"So, she obviously inherited my brilliance." Jane boasted with a cocky smile. Kate smacked the side of his arm and he quickly added, "But that's not necessarily a good thing. Why?"

"Would you want a 15 year old poking around crime scene photos?"

Jane paused, thinking deeply, "Ah, probably not."

"You see the problem, here?" Kate posed a good question. The things he saw on a daily basis were often gruesome. He would never let Charlotte see them if she was still alive. "Wait up, so even after all this, you still think you only have one daughter?" Jane gaped at her, "You didn't mean to say that out loud…."

Kate nodded towards the scene that was now playing out in front of them. It must have been in the same year as the last one, because Lexi didn't look any different. Jane instantly recognized it as his grave. The two women were standing above it, muttering quietly to themselves.

The harsh ringing of a phone broke the peaceful silence and Lisbon quickly answered it with a curt, "Lisbon," before strolling off.

Lexi, much like in the alternate world, squatted down in front of it, blazing fury in her eyes. "Hi Dad," she growled. "You probably don't know who I am. But I'm your daughter, Lexi. Alexandra Margaret Lisbon. I just want you to know that I hate you and will never forgive you for what you did. You abandoned Mom and me without a second thought. She is so sad all the time. And it's your damn fault." Lexi seemed to have picked up her mother's nervous habit of fiddling with the cross around her neck. "I don't care why you did it, but it doesn't even matter, because you're dead."

"Lexi, we've gotta go now! Our plane leaves in a couple of hours." Lisbon called softly from a couple yards away.

"Coming Mom."

Jane could barely move; he was completely shell shocked at her little tirade.

"Wh-what? How- she has her mother, she's not alone…" stammered Jane, "And she hates me more."

"Her mother was like a hollow queen. Beautiful and strong, but missing something. Imagine growing up with that, and knowing whose fault it is?"

"Kate, you said that these little changes affect everything. What did Lexi grow up to be?"

"In this reality, she became a cop after graduating from Colorado College. In the other reality, she was recruited into the CIA out of college."

Jane winced slightly, "I'm guessing you aren't talking about the cooking school."

"Nope," Kate said, popping her 'p'.

"Is there a 'good' reality?" he asked desperately.

"That's our next stop, Jane. But remember this, just because there's a good reality out there, doesn't mean these two are impossible. Just keep that in mind, will ya?"

* * *

**So... you all hate Jane. Please don't kill him. And I am sincerely sorry if I made anyone cry. I don't think he redeems himself quite yet, but maybe next chapter... **

**Can I just point out one really quick thing? Has anyone else noticed that Robin Tunney's Midwestern accent is sometimes more prominent? I think it's brilliant. But maybe I just notice it because I'm Midwestern. Like when she says cops, it's more like caahps. Which is basically what everyone where I'm from says. Sorry, rambling. **

**I'm sorry this is late. I'm supposed to be studying for finals right now, but I just had to get this up. So please leave me a review. It'll make up for the Chinese final I'm about to take! (Yes, I take Chinese. No, I cannot say anything interesting. No, it is not a fun class.) **

**One more thing, and I swear to God, I'll shut up. Actually, two. One, do you guys like the title? I think it's super cheesy, but I won't change it unless people feel strongly. Two, is anyone interested in beta-ing for these fandoms: Merlin, OUAT, Castle, Mentalist, or NCIS? **

**hoagie**


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